Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ZiivaZephyr

Search for a member

ZiivaZephyr
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2269
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ZiivaZephyr : On FML instead of sleeping....again

ZiivaZephyr's last visitors

Federgirlshivamtrivedicolton_coltonisallwaysmeallred97AfroCircusMantacojaunsDocBastard

ZiivaZephyr's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of ZiivaZephyr's badges

ZiivaZephyr's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to play Twister. Her parents watched us the whole time, making sure we didn't touch. FML

#20100263
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19838) - you deserved it (1885)

On 10/03/2012 at 6:03pm - misc - by its just twister (man) - United States (California)

Today, while walking down the hall of my old school, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Behind the faculty parking lot where I parked my truck, two students were having sex on my tailgate. FML

#20099948
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23233) - you deserved it (2246)

On 10/03/2012 at 1:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30007) - you deserved it (4272)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my sister walked into my room, saying her boyfriend "forgot something." She then reached under my bed and pulled out a pair of boxers and a condom wrapper. Her response to my disgust was, "My bed was dirty." FML

#20077937
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22238) - you deserved it (1221)

On 09/18/2012 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by useyourownbed (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found a Justin Bieber shrine in my daughter's closet. FML

#20077908
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27018) - you deserved it (3231)

On 09/18/2012 at 3:51pm - kids - by unfortunateMother (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I decided to look for the horrid stench coming from my bathroom. It turns out my roommate has been throwing away her used tampons in the "trashcan by the sink." That "trashcan" is my old antique vase. FML

#20077513
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21993) - you deserved it (2162)

On 09/18/2012 at 7:56am - misc - by raesos91 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML

#20074793
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21584) - you deserved it (2110)

On 09/16/2012 at 3:48pm - health - by Derp McShitstain (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18028) - you deserved it (1899)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I stumbled across "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" on TV and realized that these awful freaks are going to make more money than I ever will. FML

#20070573
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23234) - you deserved it (2375)

On 09/13/2012 at 6:29pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

#20069788
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20678) - you deserved it (4406)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my book bag was so heavy that it set off my car's passenger detection system in the front seat. I had to buckle in my textbooks. FML

#20068805
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20824) - you deserved it (2998)

On 09/12/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I decided to be a gentleman and let an old lady have my seat on the bus. Before I could even get up, she sat on my lap and wouldn't get off. I got an involuntary lap dance from a grandma. FML

Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML

#20066250
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16039) - you deserved it (65338)

On 09/10/2012 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by killmenow - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized that my manager and I have synchronized menstrual cycles. She gets extremely bitchy, and I get extremely vulnerable and emotional - she yells at me and I burst into tears. FML

Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML

#20042115
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33009) - you deserved it (3111)

On 08/26/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: