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ZiivaZephyr

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ZiivaZephyr
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2255
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ZiivaZephyr : On FML instead of sleeping....again

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ZiivaZephyr's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

#20110144
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25629) - you deserved it (4522)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

#20109382
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17455) - you deserved it (2819)

On 10/09/2012 at 6:56pm - kids - by fionnathehuman - United States

Today, my stepdaughter called to say hello and to give me a warning: she will do whatever it takes to keep me from having a baby with her dad, including pushing me down the stairs. I'm 12 weeks pregnant, and we were going to tell her this weekend. I'm now petrified of a 10-year-old. FML

Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML

#20106106
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17588) - you deserved it (1101)

On 10/07/2012 at 5:41pm - kids - by Skidmark Sally - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML

#20104673
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32453) - you deserved it (2164)

On 10/06/2012 at 7:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to pry my sister's used tampon out from between my dog's jaws. FML

#20104660
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23517) - you deserved it (1597)

On 10/06/2012 at 6:58pm - animals - by banj0 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my mother was digging up our Halloween decorations, and found the Christmas decorations as well. She's shoddily decorated the house already in half-Halloween and half-Christmas style to save time. I guess we'll be celebrating Christmasween for the rest of the year. FML

#20103809
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12765) - you deserved it (1344)

On 10/06/2012 at 1:57am - misc - by Joey - United States (Nevada)

Today, I realized that at age 54, I'm no longer young enough to go commando anymore. Every time I sneezed today, I peed myself. FML

#20102528
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13508) - you deserved it (9746)

On 10/05/2012 at 4:14am - health - by Darla (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom decided to subtly bring up her desire for grandchildren. "You really need a girlfriend. I'm surprised you don't have a crippling case of Carpal Tunnel by now." FML

#20102423
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15857) - you deserved it (2430)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:59am - misc - by alittlepersonal (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom decided to subtly bring up her desire for grandchildren. "You really need a girlfriend. I'm surprised you don't have a crippling case of Carpal Tunnel by now." FML

#20102423
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15857) - you deserved it (2430)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:59am - misc - by alittlepersonal (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML

#20101904
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23487) - you deserved it (2207)

On 10/04/2012 at 8:28pm - love - by imafunguy (man) - United States

Today, I was watching TV with my mom, when a plumbing ad came on. A hot guy showed up on-screen and said "I'm here to snake your drain." My mom immediately piped up with, "Oh, I'd let him snake my drain any day." Thanks for that imagery, mom. FML

#20101823
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19401) - you deserved it (2573)

On 10/04/2012 at 7:24pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML

#20101402
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23670) - you deserved it (1789)

On 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I found out why it might be awkward to have your plumber and your least well-behaved dog share a name. Bad plumber. FML

#20100991
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16214) - you deserved it (2116)

On 10/04/2012 at 2:20am - animals - by acme - Israel

Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML

#20100352
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19554) - you deserved it (6868)

On 10/03/2012 at 7:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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