About ZiivaZephyr : On FML instead of sleeping....again
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ZiivaZephyr's favorite FMLs
Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML
by Anonymous / 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
by lonely dreams / 01/01/2013 at 12:26pm / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy
Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML
by valnaj1 / 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm / Denmark (Syddanmark) / Intimacy
by Chanman1924 / 12/24/2012 at 4:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by selfishsexysanta / 12/24/2012 at 1:06pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Intimacy
by heya / 12/24/2012 at 5:09am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML
by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 1:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Work
Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed and I asked him why he was with me. His answer was, "Well, the last girl I dated was really smart and she always made me feel dumb, so I decided to switch things up a bit. You make me feel like a genius babe." FML
by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 12:33am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Saradee / 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Kasey Eames / 12/23/2012 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML
by Anonymous / 12/21/2012 at 12:24pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that the tinsel on my Christmas tree is worth a couple of hundred euros per strand. Well, that's how much the two that were surgically removed from my cat have cost me. At least the cat's going to be fine. FML
by I Like My Cat / 12/21/2012 at 5:02am / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Animals
by Anonymous / 12/20/2012 at 11:05pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
by spellbound / 12/19/2012 at 9:59am / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids
- Today, I visited a new tattoo parlor, as my previous artist made me uncomfortable with his drunken,… Today, my best friend of 12 years told me she couldn't attend my wedding. What was so important to… Today, I found my daughters hiding spot. Yeah there was dolls, matchbox cars and coloring markers.…