Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ZiivaZephyr

Search for a member

ZiivaZephyr

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3487
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ZiivaZephyr : On FML instead of sleeping....again

ZiivaZephyr's page activity

Visits<b>kayakerp1</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 11:50pm<b>sisas</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 8:11pm<b>Tthug</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 7:14pm<b>loganburke91</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 10:01am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 8:09pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 2:22pm<b>Countryboy4X4</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 4:57am<b>colton_colton</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 6:35pm<b>isallwaysme</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 10:53pm<b>allred97</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 12:03am<b>DubCantStep</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 8:30am<b>AfroCircusMan</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 10:41am<b>tacojauns</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 10:18am<b>Aaron0127</b> - the 02/28/2013 at 5:52pm<b>DocBastard</b> - the 02/16/2012 at 2:51pm<b>etharay</b> - the 02/16/2012 at 2:40pm<b>pompousjackass</b> - the 02/16/2012 at 1:17pm<b>DasHaas</b> - the 02/16/2012 at 12:37pm

Liked!<b>kayakerp1</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 4:51am

ZiivaZephyr's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of ZiivaZephyr's badges

ZiivaZephyr's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML

#20436663
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41871) - you deserved it (5909)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I have been single and out of the game for so long that instead of having real wet dreams, I now dream about jacking off. FML

#20436185
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36520) - you deserved it (6250)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:26pm - intimacy - by lonely dreams - United States (Nevada)

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

#20419819
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82043) - you deserved it (25233)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, my friend put my phone number on Craigslist. I still can't find the ad, but obviously everyone else can because I still haven't stopped receiving naked pictures. FML

#20419133
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32460) - you deserved it (3349)

On 12/24/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by Chanman1924 - United States

Today, I gave my husband an early Christmas present: Santa-themed lingerie. He got angry and called me selfish, for "using" him as an excuse to get myself nice stuff. FML

#20418722
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37665) - you deserved it (12447)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by selfishsexysanta (woman) - United States

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

#20418714
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45812) - you deserved it (25190)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, whilst at my new step-dad's Christmas lunch, my mother spiked my drink so that I would look worse than her in front of her new mother-in-law. FML

#20418159
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30347) - you deserved it (2212)

On 12/24/2012 at 5:09am - misc - by heya - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

#20417936
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15155) - you deserved it (35041)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed and I asked him why he was with me. His answer was, "Well, the last girl I dated was really smart and she always made me feel dumb, so I decided to switch things up a bit. You make me feel like a genius babe." FML

#20417781
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37441) - you deserved it (7173)

On 12/24/2012 at 12:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55582) - you deserved it (9876)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my husband to tell me his wildest fantasy. He told me it was to put on fake antlers and "do it like deer". FML

#20415339
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36411) - you deserved it (7765)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Kasey Eames - United States (California)

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

#20411354
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32593) - you deserved it (9115)

On 12/21/2012 at 12:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that the tinsel on my Christmas tree is worth a couple of hundred euros per strand. Well, that's how much the two that were surgically removed from my cat have cost me. At least the cat's going to be fine. FML

#20410843
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17148) - you deserved it (12189)

On 12/21/2012 at 5:02am - animals - by I Like My Cat (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, in the "end-of-the-world" spirit, I asked my boyfriend to marry me. His response was, "It's really windy out." FML

#20410172
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18091) - you deserved it (25491)

On 12/20/2012 at 11:05pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

#20407286
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33802) - you deserved it (3666)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: