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ZiivaZephyr

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ZiivaZephyr
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2280
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ZiivaZephyr : On FML instead of sleeping....again

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ZiivaZephyr's favorite FMLs

Today, a police officer came to talk to the kids at my workplace. He asked what they wanted to hear about first. A group of them shouted, "The donuts, tells us about the donuts." Apparently these idiots are the future of my country. FML

#19812468
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15050) - you deserved it (3106)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:08pm - kids - by Joseph N - United States

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML

#19806714
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9754) - you deserved it (31603)

On 06/18/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by Brittany (woman) - United States

Today, I tripped and fell on the sidewalk. As I did, a car that was passing by stopped, made a U-turn, and then came back so the people inside could laugh at me. When they were done taunting me, they made another U-turn and continued back in their original direction. FML

#19806668
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21740) - you deserved it (2196)

On 06/18/2012 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I kindly asked my boyfriend to shave his pubic hair to make oral sex more enjoyable for me. He declined, saying, "Think of it as flossing your teeth. I'm doing you a much needed favor." FML

#19803721
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26705) - you deserved it (4779)

On 06/17/2012 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by turnedoff (woman) - United States

Today, I was having a debate with my friend over tattoos. I used the example that you wouldn't put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari. He looked me in the eye and said, "Yeah, but you're no Ferrari. More like a Prius." FML

#19801481
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8536) - you deserved it (19410)

On 06/17/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by kitty shah - United States

Today, I was reading erotic literature and noticed several errors in syntax, resulting in my mood being killed. I was cockblocked by my need for grammatical correctness. FML

#19799691
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21662) - you deserved it (10112)

On 06/17/2012 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35090) - you deserved it (3816)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35090) - you deserved it (3816)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9394) - you deserved it (17623)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today, I learned that if you're going to use vicks vapor rub for a cold, you should remember to wash your hands before changing your tampon. FML

#19790692
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22306) - you deserved it (10824)

On 06/15/2012 at 2:19am - health - by sickness_sucks - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML

#19788440
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45510) - you deserved it (3027)

On 06/14/2012 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by aranya (man) - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML

#19730259
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25357) - you deserved it (2182)

On 06/04/2012 at 12:34am - misc - by whattheheck - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size. FML

#19726729
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6332) - you deserved it (27059)

On 06/03/2012 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Spain (Castilla y Leon)

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML

#19726359
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21169) - you deserved it (1734)

On 06/03/2012 at 12:13pm - love - by mothtal (woman) - Bulgaria



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