About ZiivaZephyr : On FML instead of sleeping....again
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ZiivaZephyr's favorite FMLs
Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML
by BloodFaerie / 06/30/2012 at 2:49am / United States (Georgia) / Animals
by lala8940 / 06/28/2012 at 1:20am / United States / Animals
by MonCoiffeurAdoré / 06/27/2012 at 10:43pm / Miscellaneous
Today, while walking around the local thrift store, I noticed an attractive guy watching me and following me through the aisles. As he followed me to my car I was sure I would get his number. He then asks me to bring my purse inside as I had been tagged as a shoplifter. I work at the store. FML
by Anonymous / 06/27/2012 at 10:28pm / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML
by apparantlyStupid / 06/27/2012 at 7:28pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
Today, I was babysitting a four-year-old girl, when I came across a toy that sang the Macarena. For fun, I decided to teach her the dance. When she showed her parents, instead of putting her hands on her backside and turning, she decided to bend over and moon them. FML
by fired / 06/27/2012 at 4:48pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I had an IUD put in two years ago that's supposed to prevent pregnancy. To put it in perspective, less than 1% of people using this IUD get pregnant. Lucky me. FML
by Anonymous / 06/27/2012 at 4:02pm / United States (Indiana) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/27/2012 at 4:01pm / Miscellaneous
by tammy / 06/27/2012 at 1:05am / United States (California) / Love
by maggie74 / 06/27/2012 at 12:58am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML
by deli Shoppe / 06/27/2012 at 12:39am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by theunborn / 06/19/2012 at 12:42pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Intimacy
by Shelby / 06/19/2012 at 12:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, a police officer came to talk to the kids at my workplace. He asked what they wanted to hear about first. A group of them shouted, "The donuts, tells us about the donuts." Apparently these idiots are the future of my country. FML
by Joseph N / 06/19/2012 at 12:08pm / United States / Kids
by megasniper240 / 06/19/2012 at 11:35am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…