About ZiivaZephyr : On FML instead of sleeping....again
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Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25931) - you deserved it (3336)
On 08/13/2012 at 8:19am - intimacy - by hmmmm (woman) - Australia
Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17844) - you deserved it (1582)
On 08/12/2012 at 8:49pm - kids - by JAdams (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML
I agree, your life sucks (36082) - you deserved it (1980)
On 08/12/2012 at 1:49am - intimacy - by happybirthday - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10550) - you deserved it (32415)
On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31857) - you deserved it (3225)
On 08/11/2012 at 6:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I had to scream for my dad to come help me, after I got my hair caught in a fan while trying to make the Darth Vader voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6116) - you deserved it (20470)
Today, I learned that when you hear a bump in the night, it's best not to check your parents' room. Some things cannot be unseen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10924) - you deserved it (12623)
On 08/04/2012 at 2:56am - misc - by alyssabree42 - United States (Oregon)
Today, it was my wedding day. When my soon-to-be-husband was saying his vows, he didn't say my name. He said his mother's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21516) - you deserved it (1241)
On 08/04/2012 at 2:00am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)
Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12907) - you deserved it (8526)
On 08/03/2012 at 3:28pm - misc - by squeltorey (man) - United States (California)
Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We have had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19567) - you deserved it (1614)
On 08/01/2012 at 3:59am - misc - by SLAB_GIRL15 - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found out that the only reason my guy friends actually hang out with me at my house all the time is because they think my mom is hot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16744) - you deserved it (1441)
On 07/31/2012 at 10:21am - misc - by loser (man) - United States
Today, while looking through pictures of my boyfriend and me on Facebook, I noticed that in practically every single one featuring my best friend, his eyes are directed down her shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19942) - you deserved it (382)
On 07/07/2012 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response: "Still missing". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16726) - you deserved it (4581)
On 07/07/2012 at 3:26am - misc - by sozzy - United States (California)
Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23776) - you deserved it (2627)
On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I bumped into a man on the street. I apologized and he picked up his wallet. To clear the awkward silence, I pointed out that his wallet looked like mine. It wasn't until I was on the next street that I realized it was my wallet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17742) - you deserved it (6807)
On 07/07/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Aaron Lewis - United States (Kansas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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