About ZiivaZephyr : On FML instead of sleeping....again
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ZiivaZephyr's favorite FMLs
by happybirthday / 08/12/2012 at 1:49am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML
by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 6:33am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by :$ / 08/06/2012 at 6:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by alyssabree42 / 08/04/2012 at 2:56am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/04/2012 at 2:00am / United States (New Mexico) / Love
Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML
by squeltorey / 08/03/2012 at 3:28pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We have had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML
by SLAB_GIRL15 / 08/01/2012 at 3:59am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by loser / 07/31/2012 at 10:21am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/07/2012 at 6:00pm / United States (New York) / Love
by sozzy / 07/07/2012 at 3:26am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by kalikanna / 07/07/2012 at 2:10am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I bumped into a man on the street. I apologized and he picked up his wallet. To clear the awkward silence, I pointed out that his wallet looked like mine. It wasn't until I was on the next street that I realized it was my wallet. FML
by Aaron Lewis / 07/07/2012 at 1:01am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
by babyeaternomnom / 06/30/2012 at 12:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by audreyav / 06/30/2012 at 4:10am / United States (Oregon) / Animals
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…