ZiivaZephyr

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ZiivaZephyr

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8948
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ZiivaZephyr : On FML instead of sleeping....again

ZiivaZephyr's page activity

Visits<b>gillyman</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 7:16pm<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 11:59pm<b>thatguy1531</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 1:29pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 4:43pm<b>LifelessStars</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 9:30pm<b>unsun</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 11:24am<b>HoboRain</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 9:11pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 2:57am<b>hilamonster06</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 3:46pm<b>sabres5730</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 5:15pm<b>Hieroglyph</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 7:54am<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 5:31pm<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 1:37pm<b>Mike3399</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 10:57pm<b>kayakerp1</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 11:50pm<b>sisas</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 8:11pm<b>Tthug</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 7:14pm<b>loganburke91</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 10:01am

Fucked!<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 6:37pm<b>kayakerp1</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 4:51am

ZiivaZephyr's FML badges

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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ZiivaZephyr's favorite FMLs

Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML

by arse of fire :( / 02/22/2013 at 7:31pm / United Kingdom (Slough) / Health

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2013 at 4:20pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my kitten made it snow inside my house using a 12-pack of toilet paper. FML

by Anonymous / 02/06/2013 at 1:00pm / United States (West Virginia) / Animals

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

by DogLover / 02/06/2013 at 8:59am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend called me a freak for wanting to have sex for a second night in a row. FML

by frustrated! / 02/06/2013 at 1:01am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

by NewlyDread / 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML

by Experience / 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

by Stunned / 02/04/2013 at 4:15am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2013 at 12:15am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was running late for work and quickly grabbed my outfit from the dryer. I heard the crackling of static as I took out my shirt. I didn't think anything of it, until later when my co-worker pointed out I had a thong stuck to my back. FML

by Anonymous / 02/03/2013 at 2:32am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my cousin's birthday party, my grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. FML

by dynah114 / 01/27/2013 at 2:08pm / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

by pdub523 / 01/27/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, while sledding with my daughter, I tried getting her to go down a steeper slope than she's used to. She was worried she'd crash, so I went first to show her how it's done. I lost control halfway down the hill, bailed, and rolled into a tree. My wife has it on video. FML