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Zbrah

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Zbrah

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 277
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Zbrah's favorite FMLs

Today, multiple people admired my elaborate face paint. This happens every Halloween, at least every Halloween since I got badly burnt in a car accident. FML

#20142623
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42778) - you deserved it (1673)

On 11/01/2012 at 7:17am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of)

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

#20139353
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25506) - you deserved it (2372)

On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was bagging my groceries when I accidentally smacked myself in the face with a box of popsicles, giving myself a nose bleed. I found out that the cashier hates the sight of blood when she passed out behind the register. They called security on me. FML

Today, I discovered that I have been falsely accusing my sister of stealing my makeup. How do I know this? Because I found said makeup in the trunk of my boyfriend's car, next to a bag that had fishnet tights and red stilettos in it. Oh, and the stilettos are his size, in case you were wondering. FML

#19999762
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29067) - you deserved it (2550)

On 08/03/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by SingleAgain (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I saw the girl that I've had a crush on forever riding her horse on the side of the road. She waved, and without thinking, I honked my horn in response. Her horse bucked her off. FML

#19997037
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21518) - you deserved it (14972)

On 08/01/2012 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML

#19902817
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10407) - you deserved it (24152)

On 07/07/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by totallyembarassed - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend came to a family barbecue. I guess my dad heard him talking about the "fun" we'd be having later, because over the following two hours, he tripped my boyfriend up on concrete, threw a beer can at him, and sprayed him full-force with a water hose. All "accidentally" of course. FML

#19901144
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19216) - you deserved it (6536)

On 07/06/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by :$ (woman) - United States

Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML

#19900187
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40588) - you deserved it (4175)

On 07/06/2012 at 1:44pm - love - by wife of a shithead (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that black people aren't all lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML

Today, I met my brother for the first time in 20 years. Everything was going great, until he tried to make out with me. FML

#19094213
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43162) - you deserved it (2826)

On 02/16/2012 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, out of habit, I said "See you later" to a creepy old male customer who stared at my chest the whole time I was serving him. His response was to wink and say, "Oh, you will." FML

#18844355
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27542) - you deserved it (4669)

On 01/18/2012 at 2:02pm - misc - by terrified - United States

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

#18844188
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31676) - you deserved it (4974)

On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom

Today, while looking in the mirror at my full-blown grease-spewing acne-riddled face, my father came up behind me and said, "Don't worry son, I had acne like that when I was your age". I replied, "No you didn't", and his immediate response while laughing was, "No, I didn't." FML

#18843385
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27752) - you deserved it (2835)

On 01/18/2012 at 10:18am - health - by harshdoobie (man) - Canada

Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML

#18834443
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34591) - you deserved it (3015)

On 01/17/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by littlelottie - United States (Florida)



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Tuesday 22 July 2014

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