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Youtube00's favorite FMLs
Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML
by Anonymous / 08/17/2011 at 12:48am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my potbellied pig ate my neighbor's award-winning flower garden, that she has been growing for almost three years. She'd told me that she was bringing the judges of the competition, in which she was in line to win $300, to her house in two days. I have yet to tell her. FML
by otter / 08/16/2011 at 10:05pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by gkid92 / 08/16/2011 at 12:16pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Health
by bursteardrums / 08/16/2011 at 11:00am / United Kingdom (Devon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I heard that a boy in my class had written a song about me. Intrigued, I went to see him perform. I spent 3 excruciating minutes listening to a song about 'the girl of his dreams', his tear-filled eyes staring into mine the whole time. I have to sit next to this freak for the next 2 years. FML
by worried / 08/16/2011 at 9:20am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Love
Today, a cute guy in a bar came up to me, and we started chatting. I'm a natural blonde, and he commented on how nice my hair was. He then followed this up with, "Does the carpet match the curtains?" FML
by Anonymous / 08/15/2011 at 11:31pm / United States / Intimacy
by creepedoutlady / 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I received a message on Facebook from a guy I've liked for a year. He asked me if I wanted to hang out, so I said yes. When I walked out to his car later on, he gave me a really confused look. Apparently I was on my brother's Facebook, and he'd never logged out. FML
by Leota / 08/15/2011 at 12:20pm / United States (Nebraska) / Love
Today, a girl came into my salon to permanently straighten her really long and curly hair. After several long hours, I went to the counter to charge her. She ran out faster than an Olympic runner. FML
by theultimatesalonfail / 08/14/2011 at 8:47pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 08/14/2011 at 8:25pm / United States / Intimacy
by Username / 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by ifailsobadly / 08/13/2011 at 4:22pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Miscellaneous
by NotSoAnon / 08/13/2011 at 11:31am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident. One of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "asshole" afterwards. FML
by Kathryn / 08/13/2011 at 6:31am / Belgium / Kids
by badass / 08/13/2011 at 3:25am / United States / Love
- Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm… Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 7 years with another woman. He panicked and blamed it on the… Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes.…