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Youtube00's FML badges
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Youtube00's favorite FMLs
by ifeeldirty / 10/27/2011 at 8:22am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/30/2011 at 8:52am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by mimi / 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
by happybirthday / 09/26/2011 at 1:06pm / United Kingdom (London) / Love
by Alexandra / 09/20/2011 at 4:25am / Lebanon / Intimacy
by Cantgetno / 09/20/2011 at 3:45am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML
by CaseyFpC85 / 09/11/2011 at 11:13am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML
by omfgnooo / 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/27/2011 at 12:09pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
by Anonymous / 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm / United States / Animals
Today, I had an interview for an internship at an independent lawyer's office. Hoping to increase my chances of being hired, I dressed up sexily with a short skirt, high heels, and ample cleavage. Turns out his wife handles the interviews. FML
by santa_maria / 08/25/2011 at 5:45pm / Reunion / Love
by hendrix1 / 08/25/2011 at 10:33am / United States (California) / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, I’m on a mission in Africa. My company driver is so old, deaf and half blind that I have to… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he…