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  • Number of visits : 218
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Yourusername's favorite FMLs

Today, while out hiking, my phone slipped out of my pocket. I caught it and gave it to my little cousin, giving her a "special mission" to keep it safe. When we got back to our cars later, I asked her for my phone back. Turns out she left it under a shrub back in the hills so it'd be "safe." FML

#20445287
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8587) - you deserved it (30406)

On 01/06/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, after 3 years with my dream girl, I decided to pop the question by making her complete a scavenger hunt ending in her finding me, suit and everything, by the park bench where we had our first kiss. She came home tired and, instead of following the clues, decided to watch TV all day. FML

#20444582
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27055) - you deserved it (4223)

On 01/06/2013 at 3:49am - love - by ItRainedOutside (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I bought myself a pair of beautiful, hand-crafted earrings with lighthouses on them. My mother was quick to point out the lighthouses look like dicks. I don't think I can ever wear them again. FML

Today, I started charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognized my iPhone as an MP3 player and started playing the audio from the porn video I watched before we left. Everybody heard. FML

#20443608
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10183) - you deserved it (38234)

On 01/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, the highly intoxicated singer of my band decided it would be a wonderful idea to squat down and take a shit on stage in the middle of a gig. FML

#20408486
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32239) - you deserved it (3330)

On 12/20/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by dudeyouarefired -

Today, I announced to my coworkers that I'd "fixed the massive problem" they'd all been complaining about. Eleven different people made guesses at what the problem had been, ranging from how bad I smell to if I had learned to brush my teeth. I just meant that I'd fixed the coffee machine. FML

#20201213
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17101) - you deserved it (7363)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:50pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to convert to a Christian. Not because she has a strong relation with God, but because she wants to post Facebook statuses about Him and "get a lot of likes." FML

#20131695
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24209) - you deserved it (3082)

On 10/24/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML

#8634063
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11043) - you deserved it (36882)

On 02/25/2010 at 4:42am - love - by OmniVore (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my cousin came over. I left my iPod on shuffle in the room we were in as I left to go to the bathroom. When I came back she was jamming out to "My Dick" by Mickey Avalon. She won't stop singing it and her mom is coming over to pick her up in an hour. She's 4. FML

#4463161
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13840) - you deserved it (41382)

On 08/11/2009 at 11:34pm - kids - by SomeDJ (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, as I was bagging groceries, I looked down to see a 6-year-old urinating on my shoes and the floor next to me. I told his mother that he should take her kid to the restroom, only to be told to "mind my own goddamn business." I was later fired for arguing with the customer. FML

#256127
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (134652) - you deserved it (5816)

On 03/09/2009 at 10:00pm - work - by unemployed (man) - United States (Illinois)



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