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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 741
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Yourusername's page activity

Visits<b>2D0wn</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 7:07am<b>ELY98</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 8:43pm<b>Monfort_52</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 8:12pm<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 2:13pm<b>miwako</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 12:55pm<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 03/03/2013 at 1:28pm<b>Tsunami87</b> - the 03/02/2013 at 1:40pm<b>Antonia583</b> - the 02/01/2013 at 6:02pm<b>Coop817</b> - the 02/01/2013 at 11:55am<b>Maddy9111</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 5:01am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 5:56am<b>BrettBeets</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 3:06am

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Yourusername's favorite FMLs

Today, while out hiking, my phone slipped out of my pocket. I caught it and gave it to my little cousin, giving her a "special mission" to keep it safe. When we got back to our cars later, I asked her for my phone back. Turns out she left it under a shrub back in the hills so it'd be "safe." FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2013 at 7:24pm / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, after 3 years with my dream girl, I decided to pop the question by making her complete a scavenger hunt ending in her finding me, suit and everything, by the park bench where we had our first kiss. She came home tired and, instead of following the clues, decided to watch TV all day. FML

by ItRainedOutside / 01/06/2013 at 3:49am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I bought myself a pair of beautiful, hand-crafted earrings with lighthouses on them. My mother was quick to point out the lighthouses look like dicks. I don't think I can ever wear them again. FML

Today, I started charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognized my iPhone as an MP3 player and started playing the audio from the porn video I watched before we left. Everybody heard. FML

by anonymous / 01/05/2013 at 11:16am / United States / Transportation

Today, the highly intoxicated singer of my band decided it would be a wonderful idea to squat down and take a shit on stage in the middle of a gig. FML

by dudeyouarefired / 12/20/2012 at 3:16am / Miscellaneous

Today, I announced to my coworkers that I'd "fixed the massive problem" they'd all been complaining about. Eleven different people made guesses at what the problem had been, ranging from how bad I smell to if I had learned to brush my teeth. I just meant that I'd fixed the coffee machine. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2012 at 10:50pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to convert to Christianity. Not because she has a strong relation with God, but because she wants to post Facebook statuses about Him and "get a lot of likes." FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2012 at 7:06pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML

by OmniVore / 02/25/2010 at 4:42am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Love

Today, my cousin came over. I left my iPod on shuffle in the room we were in as I left to go to the bathroom. When I came back she was jamming out to "My Dick" by Mickey Avalon. She won't stop singing it and her mom is coming over to pick her up in an hour. She's 4. FML

by SomeDJ / 08/11/2009 at 11:34pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, as I was bagging groceries, I looked down to see a 6-year-old urinating on my shoes and the floor next to me. I told his mother that he should take her kid to the restroom, only to be told to "mind my own goddamn business." I was later fired for arguing with the customer. FML

by unemployed / 03/09/2009 at 10:00pm / United States (Illinois) / Work