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You_Screwed_Up

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You_Screwed_Up

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 343
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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You_Screwed_Up's page activity

Visits<b>AmAzInG123456789</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 3:19pm<b>AshMeadow14</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 11:20pm<b>YergleDeeDerf</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 11:01pm<b>myoukei</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 5:39pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 11:27am<b>Zaketh2112</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 12:50pm<b>mageeethan</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 11:39am<b>Korosuhito</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 11:44am<b>tim374</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 10:35pm<b>picante72</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 11:29am<b>kjblack</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 12:50am<b>jujuthefroggy</b> - the 07/03/2012 at 11:15am

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You_Screwed_Up's favorite FMLs

Today, I had the cops called on me for acting suspiciously. I was using a payphone. FML

#21086220
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40277) - you deserved it (3648)

On 03/14/2014 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I finally gave in to my long-distance boyfriend's requests and texted him dirty things. Any time I would send him something, he would reply, "What?" or "What do you mean?" Either I'm not doing this right, or I'm in a relationship with the most innocent person ever. FML

#21086172
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45726) - you deserved it (6492)

On 03/14/2014 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after running across London to catch my train, I collapsed, panting, into a seat across from a concerned elderly woman. She leaned over to ask whether I had my inhaler and I smiled and nodded. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I'm not asthmatic, just really unfit. FML

#21082556
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34841) - you deserved it (6368)

On 03/09/2014 at 8:36pm - health - by alipallie - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while, but I had heard she was pregnant. I rubbed her belly and asked when she was due. She slowly backed away, giving me a weird look and said, "Two months ago." FML

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

#21067130
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49607) - you deserved it (4000)

On 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm - misc - by BakedBat (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my sister had me kicked out of her wedding reception for, in the words of her new husband, "harshing the buzz." FML

#21028633
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35772) - you deserved it (4957)

On 01/15/2014 at 10:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home after working on a difficult case. My husband wasn't home so I hopped into bed. My feet felt something and I reached down and picked it up out of the sheets. It was lacy black thongs. I don't own black thongs. FML

#20999870
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51098) - you deserved it (3334)

On 12/21/2013 at 2:08am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, rather than buying one pork chop big enough for myself, I bought two smaller chops just so the cashier wouldn't think I was eating by myself. FML

#20996744
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35605) - you deserved it (7803)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:30am - love - by LonelyPorkChop - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got paper thrown at me because I didn't agree with my classmate's conspiracy theory that Brian Griffin's death was planned by the illuminati. FML

#20981275
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37363) - you deserved it (4723)

On 12/05/2013 at 12:25am - misc - by Amy - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML

#20972130
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41746) - you deserved it (2672)

On 11/27/2013 at 2:08am - animals - by Seriously_Scaredy_Cat - United States

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

#20967834
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59578) - you deserved it (4307)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, my girlfriend brought a 12-pack of beer to my mother's wake. FML

#20958939
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36916) - you deserved it (4418)

On 11/15/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by haqL (man) - Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73753) - you deserved it (7687)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom was going through the newspaper and cutting out coupons for me to use. She hands me two of them, one for tampons and the other for a pregnancy test saying "well, you're gonna need one or the other this month." FML

#13083342
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23928) - you deserved it (6805)

On 09/17/2010 at 4:19am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Georgia)



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