About YouKnowIMeantMe_ : "I write of the great, eternal truths that bind together all mankind. The whole world over we eat, we shit, we fuck, we kill and we die."
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YouKnowIMeantMe_'s favorite FMLs
Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML
by Sarah-grace / 05/17/2016 at 6:20pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
by krisest1988 / 05/07/2016 at 5:34pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, after struggling to get something out of my eye, I kept my eye open long so it would start to water. My mother in law noticed and said, "Aww, do you need a therapist again?" She knows full well I struggle with chronic depression. FML
by Anonymous / 03/12/2016 at 9:13am / United Kingdom (Neath Port Talbot) / Health
Today, I found the engagement ring I'd bought and been missing for a week. On my girlfriend's hand. While my childhood friend was inside her. They apparently like pretending she's married while doing this. They made this self-discovery a week ago. Good for them. I don't want the ring back. FML
by CogadhTallon / 12/29/2015 at 9:11pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I learned that your crotch can just light up on the body scanner in the airport for no apparent reason; and when that happens, a thorough pat down of that area will be performed by a confused security officer. FML
by Traveler / 10/08/2015 at 10:06pm / Miscellaneous
by M / 09/20/2015 at 7:59pm / United Kingdom (North Somerset) / Intimacy
by FranchezDeVista / 08/30/2015 at 2:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money
Today, I was lying on a couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML
by Annie / 08/24/2015 at 4:46am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by ouch / 07/01/2015 at 9:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/27/2015 at 12:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by thatguy8878 / 06/26/2015 at 4:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
by rabbitkiller / 06/20/2015 at 6:42am / China (Nei Mongol) / Animals
by Mona Lisa was a skank-ass ho / 05/24/2015 at 11:56am / United Kingdom (Stockport) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/25/2015 at 1:32pm / United States / Intimacy
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…