About YouKnowIMeantMe_ : "I write of the great, eternal truths that bind together all mankind. The whole world over we eat, we shit, we fuck, we kill and we die."
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YouKnowIMeantMe_'s favorite FMLs
Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML
by Sarah-grace / 05/17/2016 at 6:20pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
by krisest1988 / 05/07/2016 at 5:34pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, after struggling to get something out of my eye, I kept my eye open long so it would start to water. My mother in law noticed and said, "Aww, do you need a therapist again?" She knows full well I struggle with chronic depression. FML
by Anonymous / 03/12/2016 at 9:13am / United Kingdom (Neath Port Talbot) / Health
Today, I found the engagement ring I'd bought and been missing for a week. On my girlfriend's hand. While my childhood friend was inside her. They apparently like pretending she's married while doing this. They made this self-discovery a week ago. Good for them. I don't want the ring back. FML
by CogadhTallon / 12/29/2015 at 9:11pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I learned that your crotch can just light up on the body scanner in the airport for no apparent reason; and when that happens, a thorough pat down of that area will be performed by a confused security officer. FML
by Traveler / 10/08/2015 at 10:06pm / Miscellaneous
by M / 09/20/2015 at 7:59pm / United Kingdom (North Somerset) / Intimacy
by FranchezDeVista / 08/30/2015 at 2:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money
Today, I was lying on a couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML
by Annie / 08/24/2015 at 4:46am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by ouch / 07/01/2015 at 9:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/27/2015 at 12:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by thatguy8878 / 06/26/2015 at 4:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
by rabbitkiller / 06/20/2015 at 6:42am / China (Nei Mongol) / Animals
by Mona Lisa was a skank-ass ho / 05/24/2015 at 11:56am / United Kingdom (Stockport) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/25/2015 at 1:32pm / United States / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today my mom, bored lover of games and mysteries, bragged about outsmarting scammers by burning all…