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YouFailForLife

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YouFailForLife
  • Town/Country : New York, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 January 1993 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1593
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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YouFailForLife's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the grocery store with my mom's boyfriend. We were in the bread aisle when he picked up a loaf that was in my hand, and said, "No, no, you have to FEEL the bread," and started rubbing it all over his body. He's moving in next week. FML

#14589088
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23725) - you deserved it (2333)

On 01/15/2011 at 12:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML

#14575088
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14925) - you deserved it (27175)

On 01/14/2011 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the bathroom and my pee split into 4 different streams, none of which actually hit the toilet. FML

#14540407
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21872) - you deserved it (5950)

On 01/11/2011 at 12:32am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found a hidden camera in my room equipped with night vision and a microphone. My parents have been spying on me for at least the past year. FML

#14406121
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33685) - you deserved it (2510)

On 12/31/2010 at 4:55am - misc - by Kellie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35927) - you deserved it (7753)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32668) - you deserved it (19792)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML

#13180631
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30264) - you deserved it (3223)

On 09/24/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by Andrew - United States (Indiana)

Today, at a debate tournament based on domestic abuse, my partner yells out, "Has anyone considered that maybe the women DESERVED to be beaten?" FML

#9141842
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34944) - you deserved it (5524)

On 03/16/2010 at 8:46pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many things he wanted to do with my various orifices. FML

#8972575
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17303) - you deserved it (1967)

On 03/10/2010 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by robotchickens (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after puking all over the bathroom and my legs, I called my husband for sympathy. The first thing he says is "Did you cry?" and when I answered no, instead of wishing me better he quickly exclaimed "WHO'S MY BIG GIRL!" FML

#8923957
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18074) - you deserved it (5841)

On 03/08/2010 at 5:40pm - health - by gotitEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML

#8861010
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8144) - you deserved it (24186)

On 03/06/2010 at 1:10am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was riding my dorm elevator from the 5th floor to the 1st by myself. Since the elevator is really slow, I pulled my pants and underwear down just for kicks. Just then, the door opened to let a girl on at the 4th floor. FML

#7450090
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4410) - you deserved it (71550)

On 01/20/2010 at 12:27am - misc - by embareassed (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at work a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her. So I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML

#6934352
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6888) - you deserved it (46759)

On 12/25/2009 at 3:10am - work - by harrassment101 (man) - United States (California)



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