YouFailForLife

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Offline (the 05/29/2014 at 12:55am)

YouFailForLife

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 January 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2747
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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YouFailForLife's page activity

Visits<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 3:22pm<b>Juicenub</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 4:16am<b>MaltWarrior</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 3:46am<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 12:02pm<b>amberv61</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:08pm<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 10:23am<b>starile</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 1:24am<b>DJLag</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 12:18pm<b>DumbingOfAmerica</b> - the 12/24/2012 at 12:37am<b>amypr</b> - the 08/31/2012 at 8:30pm<b>boredblonde</b> - the 10/30/2011 at 11:42pm<b>agreatday</b> - the 10/28/2011 at 2:03am<b>Ima_monster_x3</b> - the 10/27/2011 at 5:23pm<b>zzzklx</b> - the 10/27/2011 at 9:33am<b>Retired_Panda</b> - the 10/23/2011 at 8:09pm<b>linnie_wesker</b> - the 09/28/2011 at 11:38pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:56pm<b>sugarnspicee</b> - the 06/09/2011 at 2:59pm

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YouFailForLife's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been in love with for the past two years. Five minutes in, he passed out on top of me from a pain pill overdose and had a mini seizure. He finally woke up and groans, "Those bastards! They confiscated my clothes!" FML

by Lucy / 07/21/2012 at 3:40am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my mother was watching me play Pokémon. She walked over to the TV and pulled the plug before ranting about how shameful it is that her 17 year old daughter plays Pokémon. She then sat down at the computer and started playing Farmville. FML

Today, this weird girl started texting me. I really didn't want to talk to her, so I texted back, "This message could not be delivered because of a temporery network setup error. Error 2128-226110." She replied, "You spelt temporary wrong." FML

by tommyboy783 / 10/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML

by number2 / 10/17/2011 at 9:14pm / United States / Work

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

by adieuvelib / 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm / United States / Work

Today, while a very cute girl was explaining the apartment's laundry machines to me, I blurted out, "It's okay, my pants are used to handling huge loads". FML

by NewTenant / 06/20/2011 at 3:37am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

by MakeMeASandwich / 06/10/2011 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML

by kingpin9219 / 05/30/2011 at 12:29am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I was working at a retirement center, when an old woman came to me and asked if I would like her old clothes. I politely said, "I'm sorry, but I'm a guy." She then said, "You could have just said no, instead of rudely lying to me." FML

by Imaman / 05/28/2011 at 12:09am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran a red light in front of a cop and got pulled over. My friend thought it would be funny to throw a knife in my lap and scream "Help me officer, he has a knife!" FML

by FrOsTy25 / 04/13/2011 at 6:57pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML

by fuundmental/// / 04/09/2011 at 1:46am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend sent me a picture of his morning dump because it was heart-shaped. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 1:24am / France / Love