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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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YouFailForLife

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YouFailForLife
  • Town/Country : New York, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 January 1993 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 829
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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YouFailForLife's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother was watching me play Pokemon. She walked over to the TV and pulled the plug before ranting about how shameful it is that her 17 year old daughter plays Pokemon. She then sat down at the computer and started playing Farmville. FML

#18594471 (290)

I agree, your life sucks (11563) - you deserved it (1437)

On 12/24/2011 at 12:15am - misc - by arrowtopatella (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, this weird girl started texting me. I really didn't want to talk to her, so I texted back, "This message could not be delivered because of a temporery network setup error. Error 2128-226110." She replied, "You spelt temporary wrong." FML

#18026685 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (7599) - you deserved it (39934)

On 10/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by tommyboy783 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML

#18010067 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (22730) - you deserved it (2494)

On 10/17/2011 at 9:14pm - work - by number2 - United States

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302 (166)

I agree, your life sucks (9773) - you deserved it (1468) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

#17839732 (259)

I agree, your life sucks (29171) - you deserved it (2028)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while a very cute girl was explaining the apartment's laundry machines to me, I blurted out, "It's okay, my pants are used to handling huge loads". FML

#16758524 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (11571) - you deserved it (24827)

On 06/20/2011 at 3:37am - misc - by NewTenant (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228 (151)

I agree, your life sucks (40106) - you deserved it (5477)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML

#16411283 (293)

I agree, your life sucks (16638) - you deserved it (33948)

On 05/30/2011 at 12:29am - love - by kingpin9219 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was working at a retirement center, when an old woman came to me and asked if I would like her old clothes. I politely said, "I'm sorry, but I'm a guy." She then said, "You could have just said no, instead of rudely lying to me." FML

#16380790 (68)

I agree, your life sucks (27012) - you deserved it (2920)

On 05/28/2011 at 12:09am - misc - by Imaman - United States (Virginia)

Today, I ran a red light in front of a cop and got pulled over. My friend thought it would be funny to throw a knife in my lap and scream "Help me officer, he has a knife!" FML

#15773415 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (35726) - you deserved it (4766)

On 04/13/2011 at 6:57pm - misc - by FrOsTy25 -

Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML

#15703960 (270)

I agree, your life sucks (30292) - you deserved it (6842)

On 04/09/2011 at 1:46am - intimacy - by fuundmental/// - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

#14990668 (315)

I agree, your life sucks (37075) - you deserved it (9938)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend sent me a picture of his morning dump because it was heart-shaped. FML

#14608701 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (24913) - you deserved it (4295) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I went to the grocery store with my mom's boyfriend. We were in the bread aisle when he picked up a loaf that was in my hand, and said, "No, no, you have to FEEL the bread," and started rubbing it all over his body. He's moving in next week. FML

#14589088 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (21791) - you deserved it (2143)

On 01/15/2011 at 12:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML

#14575088 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (11559) - you deserved it (19609)

On 01/14/2011 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)