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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Yeow's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that if my son and daughter in law are mad at me, they do it on my furniture. So far, they've done it on the table, my bed, and all the living room couches. FML

#12566492 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (18062) - you deserved it (8580)

On 08/16/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was going to take my boyfriend to Napa. It's my birthday and I wanted to do something big since last year my fiancee called off the wedding. My boyfriend just broke up with me because I'm "clearly not over" my ex. This makes two consecutive birthdays alone in romantic hotels I paid for. FML

#5413362 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (30097) - you deserved it (3820)

On 09/22/2009 at 12:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of a year broke up with me because I didn't fight some guy that started hitting her right in front of me... In a dream. She was totally serious. FML

#5369029 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (49162) - you deserved it (2553)

On 09/20/2009 at 9:21am - love - by dreamdude (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my (now former) best friend kicked me out of the band I started because I wasn't 'dedicated enough' after a 3 day 'holiday' to visit my dying uncle. He also during this 3 day 'holiday' convinced my girl friend to leave me and date him. FML

#5287985 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (43695) - you deserved it (2000)

On 09/16/2009 at 4:25am - misc - by dj163 (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my best friend, the man who I've been in love with for nine years, finally told me he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Unfortunately, it was while he was using me to practice proposing to his girlfriend. FML

#5269441 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (40147) - you deserved it (5841)

On 09/15/2009 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my dad to pick me up from school, he said he couldn't. Why? he was busy playing world of warcraft for the night. I got to walk the 3 hours home while my 49 year old dad played computer games. FML

#5263427 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (35321) - you deserved it (2984)

On 09/14/2009 at 10:56pm - misc - by stupid (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML

#5224172 (186)

I agree, your life sucks (50118) - you deserved it (2484)

On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, the guy I have been in love with for years decided to tell me all about his women problems and how he can't find someone. After telling him I loved him he responds, "do you know if anyone else does?" FML

#5201884 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (33487) - you deserved it (2377)

On 09/12/2009 at 3:39am - love - by ksgirl (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my girlfriend left me for her boss. The same boss that, two weeks ago, caused her to come to me crying because he was sexually harassing her at work. When I told her I'd intervene, she told me she'd handle it. I guess she certainly did. FML

#5192617 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (29805) - you deserved it (1258)

On 09/11/2009 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was trying to keep myself occupied due to my recent breakup. I was reading this book someone gave me about animal communication, so after a while, I figured I'd give it a shot. Then it dawned on me; I'm single, at home on a Friday night, and I'm trying to talk to my dog. FML

#5190097 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (28995) - you deserved it (4724)

On 09/11/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by fall3nrain (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was eating M&Ms on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (45744) - you deserved it (10321)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was walking with my very attractive friend who I like a lot. She then told me that her roomate wouldn't be home tonight, and if I wanted, I could come over and study history. I didn't get it. I told her no thanks, that I was covered, and it was chem I needed to study. An hour later, I understood. FML

#5173603 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (8549) - you deserved it (49015)

On 09/10/2009 at 7:17pm - love - by itisthedude (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it was raining. I was out walking with my girlfriend, and decided it would be cute if we bit of dancing in the rain. As I was swinging her round, I swung her head against a lamp post. She broke up with me. FML

#5123353 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (30495) - you deserved it (13555)

On 09/08/2009 at 6:46am - love - by Charlie (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML

#5098537 (317)

I agree, your life sucks (54122) - you deserved it (4191)

On 09/07/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by BoredRunner42 - United States (California)

Today, I was getting changed in front of my room mate of two years. Feeling comfortable, I took off all my clothes and started putting new clothes on. I asked why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body. She said "I'm loving the view. Didn't you know I'm a lesbian?" FML

#5094881 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (14917) - you deserved it (38351)

On 09/07/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by EyesOffMe (woman) - Canada (Ontario)