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Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31623) - you deserved it (2745)
On 05/23/2013 at 4:11pm - misc - by eric4 (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29262) - you deserved it (2077)
On 05/23/2013 at 1:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Buzau)
Today, one of my closest friends informed me that she wasn't going to invite me to her wedding, because I'm too shy and not enough fun, and she doesn't want her 200 or so guests to feel uncomfortable. I was the one who set the happy couple up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43410) - you deserved it (2913)
On 05/23/2013 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I finally scored a goal in a soccer game. Too bad it was in our own net. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21246) - you deserved it (26637)
On 05/23/2013 at 1:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was shouting out for help when a voice came screaming, "This is the fire department." I was relieved until he said, "Just kidding." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35406) - you deserved it (2171)
On 05/23/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by Mylifesucks - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40996) - you deserved it (3085)
On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I awoke from a dream that I'd found an Arco gas station that had regular gas for $3.38. I actually went looking for it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29148) - you deserved it (7796)
On 05/22/2013 at 10:51am - money - by maarkblack (man) - United States
Today, for the fourth time this week, I witnessed my mother dancing around the house naked. Apparently, she is loosening up her "inner nudist" and isn't planning on stopping any time soon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32677) - you deserved it (2579)
On 05/22/2013 at 6:56am - misc - by stillhave2years - United States
Today I returned home after a semester at university. I guess I did too good a job of getting into shape as my parents phoned the police, thinking I was a burglar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31470) - you deserved it (2702)
On 05/22/2013 at 5:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, while grieving over the loss of my Grandpa, I called my girlfriend for comfort. After I had cheered up, she said, "Don't worry, he went to Hell anyway." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34124) - you deserved it (2505)
On 05/22/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by SadPuppy - United States
Today, due to my allergies I can't stop sneezing. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for my hemorrhoids making each sneeze feel like I'm getting a cactus shoved up my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30594) - you deserved it (2706)
On 05/22/2013 at 1:38am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my neighbors called the police and said that they saw, through the window, a suspicious person in my house doing something to my piano. The "suspicious person" was me, in my own house, playing my own piano. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34074) - you deserved it (1903)
On 05/21/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by pianoplayer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I had to go with my mom to the gynecologist to translate due to her broken English. As we were filling out papers and answering questions, the doctor asked some very personal questions. I now know everything about my mom's sex life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38109) - you deserved it (3935)
On 05/21/2013 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by knowtoomuch - United States (Colorado)
Today, while on my way to an important interview, I was stopped and ticketed for speeding. The ticket made me 20 minutes late, but when I showed up, I was told they forgot to call and let me know that the woman I was supposed to meet with called in sick this morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31137) - you deserved it (5330)
On 05/21/2013 at 1:20pm - misc - by psuedodragon (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate in the backseat of his car, when a police car pulled up behind us. My mom later told me that intimacy was fine, just not in a car. We were in the car because she told me that intimacy was fine, just not in her house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33435) - you deserved it (7983)
On 05/21/2013 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by backseatbusted (woman) - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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