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XxeftxX

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XxeftxX

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  • Number of visits : 2300
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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XxeftxX's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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XxeftxX's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the girl on Facebook that helped me out of my sadness after my break-up and who I'd hopelessly fallen in love with was just a prank by my ex-girlfriend. FML

#21288808
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34159) - you deserved it (3680)

On 10/31/2014 at 12:25am - love - by facebookdeception - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was being interviewed for a grant over the phone. When asked why I wanted to go to school to be an OB nursing assistant, I panicked and yelled, "BECAUSE VAGINAS ARE FASCINATING!" into the receiver. FML

#21286497
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27610) - you deserved it (11559)

On 10/27/2014 at 7:05pm - health - by lady parts - United States (Illinois)

Today, I'm at that age where sitting down carries a 50/50 chance of turning my balls into scrambled eggs, a fact confirmed yet again today. Third time this week. I think it's time to switch to briefs. FML

#21259403
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26212) - you deserved it (3764)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:20pm - health - by I need a new ballsack. (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML

#21252547
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34544) - you deserved it (16232)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50668) - you deserved it (9737)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46154) - you deserved it (7632)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML

#21241441
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43073) - you deserved it (5473)

On 08/20/2014 at 2:07am - intimacy - by Mia (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

#21233355
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51408) - you deserved it (21021)

On 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I confided to my boyfriend that I have a condition that causes me to grow thick toe hair. He now won't stop calling me "the sexy Hobbit." FML

#21206358
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40428) - you deserved it (6419)

On 07/11/2014 at 8:26pm - health - by sexyhobbit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was texting a girl I like, explaining how she looks like an attractive celebrity. She responded with a picture of a very unattractive lady and asked if she looked like that. I told her if she had been caught in a burning building, then yes, that would look like her. It was of her mom. FML

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

#21116703
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41589) - you deserved it (6661)

On 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Norway (Nordland)

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

#21116530
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25410) - you deserved it (43086)

On 04/18/2014 at 5:31pm - kids - by cantprovenothing (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents made a game out of deliberately walking in when I'm trying to masturbate. They even turn on all the hot water taps when I'm trying to do it in the shower. FML

#21115891
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47183) - you deserved it (18165)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

#21115855
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58230) - you deserved it (8268)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by belljars (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML

#21113974
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38324) - you deserved it (11437)

On 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm - work - by sad but true. - United States (Connecticut)



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