About XxKillerStormXx : Hey fml I am a super nice person to talk to Im trying to enjoy the wonderful life but without drama no one likes it I'm pretty chill I love to hand make videos model and produce my own music I'm a nice person just don't get on my bad size in meaner than a lion seriously I will be your bi**h if u mean to me but I'm really nice respect me ill respect u and will keep a great friendship and conversations.
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XxKillerStormXx's favorite FMLs
Today, I was working the night shift at the hotel. One of my tasks is to clean out the pool robot. While trying to pull it up, I got pulled in. I had to hide naked in the laundry room for an hour while I put my uniform through the dryer. FML
by soakedga / 04/08/2013 at 12:56pm / United States (Georgia) / Work
Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML
Today, my now ex-girlfriend posted on Facebook that I called her a "fucking bitch". Our mutual friends were all outraged, and demanded that I treat her with respect. What she failed to mention was that I said it after finding out that she's been sleeping with my "best friend" for the past year. FML
by Hellosinglelife / 03/28/2013 at 6:35pm / Trinidad and Tobago (Saint George) / Love
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of seven years. He stared at me, then said "Yeah, okay then. I'm gonna watch TV now." He then turned on the TV and watched Top Gun. Not quite the response I was hoping for. FML
by Jessica / 03/23/2013 at 3:00pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by Tired / 03/20/2013 at 4:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I sent a dozen roses and a hand-written, heart-felt note to my ex-girlfriend to show her that I'm still madly in love with her. When I asked if she got the flowers I sent, she replied, "Yeah but you got the wrong color. You should've gotten yellow, that stands for friendship." FML
by Roses are Red / 03/07/2013 at 1:07am / United States (Mississippi) / Love
by Leyla / 07/14/2012 at 3:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were at a park, alone, late at night. Things were getting kind of heavy and he started undressing me, when we heard a loud "Hey!" and a flashlight coming through the bushes. My boyfriend then decided to ditch me, while still holding my shirt and bra. FML
by anonymous / 07/14/2012 at 1:06am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by lizann / 04/03/2012 at 1:39am / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML
by awhmaaan / 02/27/2012 at 10:55am / United Kingdom / Health
by RetroDayDreamer / 09/10/2011 at 11:46am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML
by omfgnooo / 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I went to my favorite drive-in burger joint for dinner. As I was nearing the end of my burger, I grabbed a cup from the cup holder that I thought was filled with soda. Instead, I got a mouthful of dip spit that a friend left in my car. FML
by Anonymous / 09/08/2011 at 3:51pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend after helping him study for his ACT, giving him a back rub, and having really awesome sex with him. His reason for dumping me? He's too stressed out to have a girlfriend right now. FML
by stupidboys / 09/06/2011 at 12:42pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/05/2011 at 10:55am / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, my mother was trying to have yet another "helpful" conversation about how to fix my anxiety.… Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents. It got to an intense sex scene. I… Today, I learned that, when you ask your girlfriend "Do you think we're having sex too often?" she…
- Today, I decided to go out for pizza before I fly home for the summer. The second I finished doing… Today, my parents had a family discussion about my sister's birthday plans because it was the "next… Today, while looking for pants to fit over my cast from a broken leg the drawer of my dresser flew…