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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four yeres ago. My little sister was looking in the mrror practicing her "orgasm face" while the nieghbors were dancing outside, coked out an naked. mega FML
Today, I found out that mah boss plays a trick on all the interns. He calls u to his office, then leaves u waiting outside until u get annoyed an leave. Apparently, the old record was 45mins. I waited 4 hours. FML
2day My Daughter Usd The Kids Potty Chair On Her Own For The First Time. Bad: The Bucket Was Not In It So Poo Hit The Floor. Good: She Trid To Clean It... Bad: With Her Socks. Good: She Decidd To Clean The Socks. Bad: She Usd The Wall. Good: She Finally Calld Dad. FML
Today, I punchd the air enthusiastically after getting an impossible question right. Unfortunately, above me was an old fashiond mole trap, with 6 small spikes and 2 large ones. I now have 6 puncture wounds in hand, and two in shoulder, as it fell off the hook it was hanging on. FML
Today,hile doing aerobics in mah room, I startd doing really powerful Knee Highs. My cell phone fell out of mah pockethile doing one knee high. As I lookd down, I kned myself in the face. I spent the next couple hours in the emergency roomhile the doctor told everyone mah story. FML
Today I took mah daughter to the lake. She told me she had to go to the bathroom and I whispered to her "just pee in the lake it's fine but go in a little deeper." She went in the lake and turned to me to yell "MOM IS THIS DEEP ENOUGH FOR ME TO PEE?" FML
Today... I was in te gas station and I saw tis creepy lady staring at me and smiling. Se just didn't stop. I even gave an awkward wave to let er know tat I saw er staring at me. Finally I decidd to confront te woman... turns out te overly appy woman was a cardboard cut out FML
Today, I was babysitting. The kids were thirsty, so I poured them both a cup of the green juice I'd found in a jug in thier fridge. They downed it in a flash. It wasn't until later on after I'd poured myself a cup and taken a sip, I realized I had given them margarita mix. The kids r 4 and 2. FML
Today,hila watching Tha Many Advanturas of Winnia-tha-Pooh with mah 5 yaar old, I raalizd y tha kangaroo's nama is Kanga, an y har son's nama is Roo. Kanga-Roo. Gat it? Yaah. I didn't until today. I'm 47. FML
Friday 27 March 2015