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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16927) - you deserved it (40242)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, I got home and threw my phone onto my bed as usual. This time it bounced out the window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34726) - you deserved it (19692)
On 07/11/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by jadakorn (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my mom had a talk with me while my dad was out. She said to stop using her lotion for my masturbation sessions. I asked her how long did she know. She replied with, "Ever since we put up that camera in the living room for burglars, where you happen to watch your porn." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21425) - you deserved it (33411)
On 06/30/2009 at 12:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49784) - you deserved it (3166)
On 06/29/2009 at 3:55pm - misc - by thatCanadianGuy7 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was informed from a fellow employee at a bar that he finally "hit" the boss' wife. I work for my parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55170) - you deserved it (1636)
On 06/24/2009 at 5:59am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9997) - you deserved it (68445)
On 06/20/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)
Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they blow out the candles and the girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight". The guy next to me was her dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10623) - you deserved it (62972)
On 06/08/2009 at 6:39am - intimacy - by baller (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25483) - you deserved it (232626)
On 06/07/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was hard at work cleaning up from a party I had while my parents were out for the night. Not a bottle of beer or a red cup was left for them to find. However, my parents did find two of my friends in their bedroom, still passed out and naked from beer and sex last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14238) - you deserved it (56003)
On 06/07/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by zep (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, the girl next to me slipped and went flying back against the wall. Indecisive whether to get off and help her or to just keep going, I lost my focus and footing and flew back next to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42818) - you deserved it (17997)
On 06/05/2009 at 1:03am - health - by NoPainNoGain (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was on a roller coaster and this 13 year old sitting next to me was completely terrified. To cheer him up, I threw my hands in the air. While my hands were up, we hit a curve and I elbowed him in the face, making him cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38364) - you deserved it (9988)
On 06/03/2009 at 11:16am - kids - by rollerSWEETness (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52216) - you deserved it (4068)
On 06/02/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Higgs (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59317) - you deserved it (144010)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I dreamed that I met this beautiful girl at a restaurant and we ended up having lunch together. Everything was going perfect until the end when I tried to get her number and she wouldn't give it to me. I can't even get a girl in my dreams. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45194) - you deserved it (4505)
On 05/27/2009 at 5:48am - love - by xpxp2002 (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, on the way to work, I pulled over at a postbox to post a letter. I walked up to the box with the letter in one hand, car key in the other. Guess which one I posted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31844) - you deserved it (18541)
On 05/18/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by Posty (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
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