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Xotoolyxo

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Xotoolyxo
  • Town/Country : Gtown, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 November 1995 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 435
  • Number of comments : 244
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Xotoolyxo : If you're reading this to get to know me better....why? Hah MSG me instead (:

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Xotoolyxo's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML

#20518411
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29790) - you deserved it (4475)

On 02/23/2013 at 2:32am - work - by mypelvishurts - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that when you suddenly get channels that you didn't have before, it doesn't mean there was a glitch and you're getting free TV, it just means that your son called the cable company and had your plan changed so you get every conceivable channel at a hugely increased price. FML

#20515174
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25758) - you deserved it (3245)

On 02/20/2013 at 5:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML

#20472335
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31605) - you deserved it (2058)

On 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm - misc - by daddy's girl - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

#20466086
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29408) - you deserved it (2726)

On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21028) - you deserved it (4557)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that Google+ has been automatically uploading my cell phone pictures as I take them. My friends have now seen pictures of me, my penis, and other things too horrifying to talk about. FML

#18945896
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11899) - you deserved it (30189)

On 01/29/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by brannie - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were in the shower, we began to get a bit frisky. That was until I lifted my arms and he immediately made one of his "Chewbacca Calls." He was referring to my armpits that I had forgotten to shave. FML

#18867304
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11026) - you deserved it (17765)

On 01/21/2012 at 12:47am - love - by Reliena (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML

#18864460
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20333) - you deserved it (5893)

On 01/20/2012 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by Ouch (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML

#18807759
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31424) - you deserved it (2151)

On 01/14/2012 at 6:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML

#18506828
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33807) - you deserved it (2171)

On 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm - intimacy - by neednewdeoderant - United States (Michigan)



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