Xotoolyxo

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Xotoolyxo

28Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 November 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2345
  • Number of comments : 835
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Xotoolyxo : If you're reading this to get to know me better....why? Hah MSG me instead (: or ask for snapchat?(:

Xotoolyxo's page activity

Visits<b>2simz</b> - 4 hours ago<b>conman317</b> - yesterday at 5:25am<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 4:37pm<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 9:43am<b>_kristaaxo</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 5:55am<b>ibones25</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 2:09pm<b>Chibster</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 6:07am<b>aboelmagd</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 7:11am<b>AnEntrailNoose</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 4:29am<b>nykkymcallister</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 2:54am<b>jasonrellet</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 8:49pm<b>T_Rev1017</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 5:29pm<b>MitchRapp</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 4:20am<b>jxvi</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 2:14pm<b>vincentjules</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 10:48am<b>NoFightinDestiny</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 3:35pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 06/02/2016 at 6:02am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 9:04pm

Fucked!<b>aboelmagd</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 1:40am<b>nykkymcallister</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 8:54am<b>jasonrellet</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 2:49am<b>dawood_k</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 8:21am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 5:02pm<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 7:40am<b>bmckee196</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 4:44pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 9:00pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 4:24am<b>Xx_dankdoge_xX</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 1:10pm<b>dk1991</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 3:07pm<b>TransitLetum</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 2:09pm<b>niksatter96</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 10:05pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 9:23pm<b>rogwest</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 7:37pm<b>ibmike22</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 1:59am<b>IceMan11</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 4:38pm<b>jackroarrr</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 2:13am

Xotoolyxo's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Xotoolyxo's badges

Xotoolyxo's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML

by anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

by SerenityJ / 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML

by mypelvishurts / 02/23/2013 at 2:32am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I discovered that when you suddenly get channels that you didn't have before, it doesn't mean there was a glitch and you're getting free TV, it just means that your son called the cable company and had your plan changed so you get every conceivable channel at a hugely increased price. FML

by Anonymous / 02/20/2013 at 5:55pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML

by daddy's girl / 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

by Keastwood013 / 01/18/2013 at 10:25am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

by SoSexy / 10/07/2012 at 6:25am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that Google+ has been automatically uploading my cell phone pictures as I take them. My friends have now seen pictures of me, my penis, and other things too horrifying to talk about. FML

by brannie / 01/29/2012 at 7:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while my boyfriend and I were in the shower, we began to get a bit frisky. That was until I lifted my arms and he immediately made one of his "Chewbacca Calls." He was referring to my armpits that I had forgotten to shave. FML

by Reliena / 01/21/2012 at 12:47am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML

by Ouch / 01/20/2012 at 7:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2012 at 6:40pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML

by neednewdeoderant / 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML

by frenchy / 03/24/2009 at 1:47am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work