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Today, a drunk man wearing a sandwich-board proclaiming that, "The end is nigh" threw some so-called holy water at me while bellowing, "It's what Jesus would've wanted" and that I should "repent for being an evil shite." FML
I agree, your life sucks (2790) - you deserved it (309)
On 05/24/2012 at 6:39pm - misc - by Notasinner (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8001) - you deserved it (879)
On 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, while in the bathroom, I started absent-mindedly drumming on my thighs. I didn't stop to think that people outside would think I was masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3512) - you deserved it (1175)
On 05/21/2012 at 1:56am - intimacy - by morethanredhands -
Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7193) - you deserved it (508)
On 05/19/2012 at 6:54pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6373) - you deserved it (432)
On 05/18/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3434) - you deserved it (5907)
On 05/17/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5236) - you deserved it (629)
On 05/14/2012 at 11:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (10297) - you deserved it (1096) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, if you live in California, you might have seen a crazy drunk guy naked in front of a McDonald's, waving at everyone. Yeah, that was probably me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1901) - you deserved it (7376)
On 05/13/2012 at 6:30pm - misc - by smh (man) - United States (California)
Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10366) - you deserved it (1946)
On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States
Today, my parents decided on my punishment for failing an English test. No deodorant for a week. They think they're so hilarious, they told all their friends and now it's all over Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7664) - you deserved it (1093)
On 04/30/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by sockmonkey (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I walked into a public restroom to find that they had set up a free health clinic for the homeless; by that I mean that I found one bum inspecting and cleaning the infected, bloody genitals of another bum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5407) - you deserved it (599)
On 04/26/2012 at 8:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6008) - you deserved it (712)
On 04/25/2012 at 2:46am - work - by foshizzle (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I saw a picture of a dude on a Harley on my friend's wall. I asked her if it was Dog the bounty hunter. It wasn't, it was her aunt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5175) - you deserved it (1188)
On 04/23/2012 at 10:12pm - misc - by GogoTheGreat - United States (Texas)
Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16417) - you deserved it (3869)
On 04/18/2012 at 9:43am - misc - by Fartfail (man) - Hong Kong
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