About XanderScythe : I am a really good person to have a thought-provoking conversation with . If you want to talk, message me! I have 2 birds and I like to watch Suits. I play golf. Shit happens. Yup. Look at my picture if you are having a bad day.
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XanderScythe's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm / Switzerland (Bern) / Work
Today, after 8 months of being belittled and treated like trash at my job as a prep cook in a high-end kitchen, I stood up for myself to the line cooks. Not only did everyone laugh at me, I got fired for causing a scene during service and insubordination. FML
by Anonymous / 09/06/2013 at 7:45am / United States (Maine) / Work
by whatjusthappened / 09/05/2013 at 8:46pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML
by RawrSparkle / 09/21/2012 at 3:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML
by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 6:33am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
Today, I overheard a girl and a guy sitting behind me on the bus who were talking about Skyrim, one of my favourite games. After a while, I turned around and, as a fellow gamer, thanked them for restoring my faith in humanity. They went very quiet. I'm now that weird guy on the bus. FML
by Anonymous / 03/22/2012 at 2:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation
by Chan / 01/22/2010 at 10:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love
Today, it's my birthday but I had to go to work. I catch the train and I am forced to sit next to this weird smelly dude who jumps off one stop before mine. A little old lady jumps on so I shuffle over so she can sit down with ease. Upon exiting the train i notice my pants are wet with smelly dude's piss. FML
by fr1day / 01/21/2009 at 2:25am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
by mehdi / 10/13/2008 at 4:20am / Miscellaneous
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