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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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XDNurse

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XDNurse
  • Town/Country : Miami, Florida
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 April 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 806
  • Number of comments : 160
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About XDNurse : Jamaican, Nurse, addicted to Facebook... in College ;3

XDNurse's last visitors

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XDNurse's favorite FMLs

Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML

#8805170 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (4513) - you deserved it (16078)

On 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by DUMMIE (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188 (453)

I agree, your life sucks (33669) - you deserved it (6913)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

#8612395 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (15498) - you deserved it (2730)

On 02/24/2010 at 10:06am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was brushing my teeth when I felt a lump of something in the corner of my mouth. Naturally assuming it would be a bit of food that my toothbrush had dislodged, I spat it out into the sink. It was a woodlouse. FML

#8611277 (251)

I agree, your life sucks (20682) - you deserved it (1880)

On 02/24/2010 at 7:58am - misc - by puzzled (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML

#8488357 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (21315) - you deserved it (2470)

On 02/20/2010 at 7:03pm - kids - by Scaryman (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while I was nearing completion on a ridiculously long assignment that was due in a few hours, my drunk roommate stumbled through the living room, tripped over my Ethernet cable, and yanked my laptop to the hardwood floor, breaking it in half. He then vomited upon the halves. FML

#8332640 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (21914) - you deserved it (1694)

On 02/16/2010 at 7:04am - misc - by timewilltell - United States (Michigan)

Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML

#8317685 (284)

I agree, your life sucks (14697) - you deserved it (3597)

On 02/15/2010 at 10:10pm - intimacy - by sadsexer23 - United States (Virginia)

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to be a stripper when she grew up, just like daddy's girlfriend. We're still married. FML

#8300891 (333)

I agree, your life sucks (29008) - you deserved it (2343)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:58pm - love - by ShayisPay101 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in the bathroom barfing my guts up into the toilet. I reached up into the medicine cabinet and found our last nausea pill. As I was about to take it, I dropped it into the toilet. FML

#8230474 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (15314) - you deserved it (3471)

On 02/14/2010 at 12:08am - health - by Intoxicunt (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, in my psychology class, we were given a sheet that had a list of stressful events and we were to select the ones we had experienced in the last 12 months. I got highest in my class of above an 80% chance of getting a life threatening illness due to stress. Everyone laughed. FML

#8160504 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (15661) - you deserved it (1806)

On 02/12/2010 at 6:39am - health - by Stressy (man) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, my doctor put me on some extra strength antibiotics for an infection. On the label it says "WARNING: may cause Diarrhea"... 'may cause' is a funny term... this is the second time I've sharted in my pants today. FML

#8153486 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (16095) - you deserved it (2347)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:11am - health - by NotSoSick (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend of a couple of months texted me that she was very sad because her puppy had just passed away. Feeling sorry for her, I bought her another puppy of the same breed. I wrapped it in a blanket and placed it on the passenger seat and went to pick her up from school. She sat on it. FML

#8099753 (356)

I agree, your life sucks (21500) - you deserved it (5346)

On 02/10/2010 at 7:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in class and noticed that it smelled strongly of cat urine. I smelled my shoulder and realized that my cat had peed on my sweater. I had six hours of classes left, and the smell had permeated my shirt. FML

#8094791 (306)

I agree, your life sucks (13722) - you deserved it (3692)

On 02/10/2010 at 4:19pm - animals - by snickerdoodles (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, in between the passing times at school, one of my classmates opened the door to my next class, so I turned to tell him thank you. Apparently, he was opening it for the teacher who was leaving. I collided with her and her very hot cup of coffee. FML

#8089139 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (12922) - you deserved it (2868)

On 02/10/2010 at 12:34pm - misc - by kel - United States (California)

Today, I was having a very realistic dream about a hot guy. Just as he was leaning in to ravish me, I was rudely awakened by the sound of my husband farting and snorting at the same time. FML

#8005552 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (19824) - you deserved it (7719)

On 02/08/2010 at 6:24am - love - by dreamteam (woman) - United States