XBeckster

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XBeckster

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 30 September 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3033
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About XBeckster : I

XBeckster's page activity

Visits<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 11:09pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 3:20pm<b>beckster_05</b> - the 03/11/2010 at 8:04pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 08/25/2009 at 2:04pm<b>aback</b> - the 07/27/2009 at 6:46pm<b>maddog</b> - the 07/27/2009 at 11:01am<b>untietheballoons</b> - the 06/29/2009 at 8:46pm<b>yaya10</b> - the 06/20/2009 at 2:14pm<b>Vasir</b> - the 06/20/2009 at 11:41am<b>ejvlols</b> - the 06/20/2009 at 11:07am<b>farmgirl</b> - the 06/20/2009 at 10:43am<b>Mnemic</b> - the 06/20/2009 at 10:24am<b>Jaywin</b> - the 06/20/2009 at 10:19am<b>Reyo</b> - the 06/18/2009 at 2:01am

XBeckster's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

XBeckster's favorite FMLs

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

by NotThatKind / 08/24/2009 at 12:28am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML

by Ouch / 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, my cousin came over. I left my iPod on shuffle in the room we were in as I left to go to the bathroom. When I came back she was jamming out to "My Dick" by Mickey Avalon. She won't stop singing it and her mom is coming over to pick her up in an hour. She's 4. FML

by SomeDJ / 08/11/2009 at 11:34pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, I found out that my husband made a replica of our family on The Sims 3. I also found out he killed me off a couple weeks ago and made a new wife, KiKi. FML

by nosrepamai82 / 07/26/2009 at 12:28am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

by notinflammable / 06/27/2009 at 12:41am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML

by LondonKitsch / 06/26/2009 at 12:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to use fake tan, seeing as I am so pale. Everywhere I have been today, I have had children behind me. Singing the Oompa Loompa song. FML

by OompaLoompa / 06/18/2009 at 9:32am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the mall with some friends. In the food court we passed by this creepy pervert feeling up a woman. I take a closer look and realize with horror that the guy is my dad in sunglasses and a hat. The lady he was with was not my mom. FML

by traumatized / 06/18/2009 at 1:26am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear and smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there for at least 30 seconds in shock, and when I backed away he was still looking at them. FML

Today, while cleaning out a closet with my mother, I found a wish list from when I was five. On that list, I wished my parents would divorce. Not only did that seriously hurt my mom, but now she thinks I'm the devil because my wish came true. FML

by Anonymous / 05/21/2009 at 10:45pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking around my house without a shirt on after my shower. I picked up my cat and walked around the corner... Just as my dad turned on the vacuum. Now I have 6 rather deep bloody holes in my shoulder and chest. FML

by vitalcheese / 05/20/2009 at 3:12pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, my friend and I decided to wear a new red lipstick. The guy I like turned around, looked at her and said, "Red is a really interesting, sexy color. Pretty bold. Not bad." and he smiled. I waited, smiling also, only for him frown and say, "Your teeth are REALLY yellow." FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2009 at 2:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a family get together with distant relatives. My grandma made a point to say how all of the grandkids brought their boyfriends or girlfriends. She looks at me, then turns to everyone and says "But not our Becky! She is more interested in her cats right now than finding a man." FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2009 at 11:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I found my mother wandering the halls of my fraternity unescorted and asked why she was here, she told me she was concerned when I didn't pick up my phone for two days. She then informed me that she had also moved to the same city I live in. My mother moved over 600 miles to stalk me. FML

by PetitPrincePerdu / 05/07/2009 at 8:42pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Kids

Today, my wife of three years asked me to meet her for lunch at Subway. When I arrived, she was standing in the parking lot. She handed me a footlong sub, said "I got you a turkey sandwich" and followed it up with "And I'm leaving you." FML

by Joey / 05/07/2009 at 6:39pm / United States (California) / Love