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Today, I came home to find a window broken and my neighbours searching inside my house. Apparently, they'd heard a small child asking for help inside my house. I recently taught my dog to "talk." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20347) - you deserved it (3838)
On 08/15/2011 at 2:23am - animals - by Mumbling Mutt101 (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I came home to find a window broken and my neighbours searching inside my house. Apparently, they'd heard a small child asking for help inside my house. I recently taught my dog to "talk." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20347) - you deserved it (3838)
On 08/15/2011 at 2:23am - animals - by Mumbling Mutt101 (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32807) - you deserved it (1679) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/08/2011 at 11:46am - health - by Anonymous - Belgium (Liege)
Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14092) - you deserved it (46355)
On 06/25/2011 at 9:39am - kids - by beekeke45 - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9859) - you deserved it (43842)
On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I'm trying to come up with a plausible explanation for my co-workers as to why I have stitches in my face. I'm not sure I want to admit that I was clawed by a pigeon as I opened my garage door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22208) - you deserved it (2613) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 06/10/2011 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonyme - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, my friend pushed me into the swimming pool. Unfortunately, we were eight feet away from the actual pool, so I face-planted and rolled in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30788) - you deserved it (2506)
On 06/05/2011 at 3:00am - misc - by kyle - United States (Ohio)
Today, I had to give a reference for a former employee. I tried to say he was always willing to give us a hand on the job. Instead, I said he was always willing to give us hand-jobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12922) - you deserved it (19882)
Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31294) - you deserved it (3995)
On 06/01/2011 at 7:53am - misc - by iscreamforicecream (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30699) - you deserved it (4684)
On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26509) - you deserved it (5026)
On 03/31/2011 at 9:46pm - health - by Amy - United States (New Jersey)
Today, at work, a coworker started to tell me about his weekend, without me even asking. Halfway through his story, I started to daydream and lost track of time. Bored, I told him, "Hey man, I'll call you back, I've got to get back to work." Then I remembered I wasn't on the phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9129) - you deserved it (30951)
On 03/22/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by PFCdavila (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23284) - you deserved it (4526)
On 03/18/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by nosleeptilpissoff (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38953) - you deserved it (7129)
On 03/10/2011 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anon (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31359) - you deserved it (5110)
On 03/09/2011 at 4:52am - kids - by Anonymous - India (Karnataka)
Monday 20 May 2013
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