WhyAmUHere

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WhyAmUHere

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 22 February 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 3040
  • Number of comments : 119
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About WhyAmUHere : Ah, you. I was expecting you here, now. You're not really good at being quiet are you? You woke me from my nap. Now, let's get down to business. End this pathetic deception! I know you're hiding Martians in your head!! Gimme them Martians! I am going to put butter on them!! Yaargh!!! I want tacos!! Bow down!! Or I will unleash my zoinky army of surly crack-babies!! Everybody! Say it with me and wiggle!! Peas! Peas! Peas! Peas! Peas! Peas! Look! David Hasslehoff CAN fly!! And now employing juvenile mongoloid demon babies!! My famous chicken recipe will never be yours!! Grrr! Woof!

WhyAmUHere's page activity

Visits<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 10:20pm<b>ken29</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 9:53pm<b>kukumber</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 8:40pm<b>nikki465</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 7:17pm<b>FordGirl98</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 3:48pm<b>StonerSongbird</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 7:08am<b>melons</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 7:47pm<b>riahlum</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 9:04pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 2:56pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 9:05pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 1:41pm<b>jamieros</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 5:00am<b>Dynosaur_dollie</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 10:22am<b>Ryan8878</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 10:30am<b>Dovabean</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 6:57pm<b>ariana39</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 1:19pm<b>Crusher74</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 8:26am<b>Raxal</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 8:43am

Fucked!<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 4:20am<b>apineapple</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 8:56pm

WhyAmUHere's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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WhyAmUHere's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the neighbor I'd given a bottle of wine to for Christmas is a recovering alcoholic. FML

by thechimpchapter / 12/31/2011 at 1:48am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents got a call from my English teacher. She told them that I have 14 days of detention because I've been cutting class. I've been there every day, but apparently she never noticed me. FML

by Bree / 10/22/2011 at 7:16pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a break-up letter, using Comic Sans. FML

by hendrix1 / 08/25/2011 at 10:33am / United States (California) / Love

Today, a car hit me while I was in a crosswalk. The driver jumped out of her car and stepped over me to check her car for damage. FML

by Username / 06/15/2011 at 1:07am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I flew home to Germany to see my wife before I'm deployed, only to find her in bed with another guy. She explained that she wants us to stay together, but she can't take a year without being intimate with someone. FML

by jsalmons / 06/02/2011 at 1:39pm / Germany (Bayern) / Intimacy

Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He asked for my license and registration so I reached for my center console. I was then greeted with a gun to my ear because my coffee cup supposedly looked like a gun. I stepped out of my car to apologize and I was hit with a big stick. FML

by phant776 / 05/13/2011 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I was rudely stopped in the park by a woman screaming at me for being a slut for having a baby so young. She got so worked up that she started swearing. Not only was I just babysitting for a friend, I am unable to get the toddler to stop swearing. FML

by QuicksilverMaximoff / 01/30/2011 at 9:46am / United Kingdom (St. Helens) / Kids

Today, I woke up to my kids shaking me, saying, "Get up, Santa was here!" I got up to find my TV, computer and MacBook Air all gone. FML

by crazycora / 12/13/2010 at 2:32pm / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Kids

Today, I was in the car with my mom. We were discussing my brother, how he's been screwing up majorly lately and she blamed it on his friends. Then she turned to me and said, "It's a good thing you've never had any friends." FML

by Amanda / 12/13/2010 at 11:29am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to fix my bike and take it for a test ride. Five minutes in, a bee flew into my eye and stung me. In pain, I thought it would be best to go home. I turned around to find a big pitbull running towards me. The dog chased me for a mile before giving up. FML

by unojo08 / 10/01/2010 at 3:26pm / United States (Florida) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while preparing the house for company, I got a call that my sister had a heart attack and died. My wife's response? "Great! Now you're going to be no help to me at all!" FML

by dargas / 03/09/2010 at 4:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a 10 hour drive to Las Vegas with only 2 CDs, Taylor Swift and Jason Mraz, and my girlfriend who thinks she's a good singer. FML

by Username / 01/27/2010 at 3:35am / Transportation

Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML

by paidback / 12/24/2009 at 8:10pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML

by RBEE / 12/12/2009 at 1:02pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a Remembrance Day service when an old widow told me I had my "grandad's" medals on the wrong side of my coat. I told her that I was an Afghanistan veteran and that they were mine. She then berated me in front of the WHOLE service for "lying". FML

by Danners88 / 11/10/2009 at 11:36pm / Australia / Miscellaneous