About WhyAmUHere : Ah, you. I was expecting you here, now. You're not really good at being quiet are you? You woke me from my nap. Now, let's get down to business. End this pathetic deception! I know you're hiding Martians in your head!! Gimme them Martians! I am going to put butter on them!! Yaargh!!! I want tacos!! Bow down!! Or I will unleash my zoinky army of surly crack-babies!! Everybody! Say it with me and wiggle!! Peas! Peas! Peas! Peas! Peas! Peas! Look! David Hasslehoff CAN fly!! And now employing juvenile mongoloid demon babies!! My famous chicken recipe will never be yours!! Grrr! Woof!
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, my little brother got his crush to go out with him by impressing her with his level 500 FarmVille. This is the next generation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21244) - you deserved it (1396)
On 05/31/2012 at 8:43am - kids - by Discouraged - United States (Maryland)
Today, on Facebook, my sister posted a ton of photos of herself wearing a skimpy bikini, commenting that she looked hideous and fat. I can't stand attention-seeking fuckballs, so I called her on it. My mother then condemned me for "mocking" my sister, and grounded me for an entire month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24911) - you deserved it (3948)
On 05/27/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by namenlos (man) - Australia
Today, I went to a party dressed as a zombie. Everyone admired my hilarious "zombie dancing". Those were my regular dance moves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13890) - you deserved it (3284)
On 05/10/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by tinydancer (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I ran for editor-in-chief of a magazine. I spent hours working on my speech, and offered a bunch of new ideas to increase readership. My opponent just said that she, "loved the organization". I lost by a 4-1 margin. My opponent later announced her plans for next year. They were all of my ideas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22003) - you deserved it (1316)
On 05/10/2012 at 11:45am - misc - by PollingLow (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was grounded by my mom because I had slept in past 11, when she wanted me to wake up at seven to do chores. According to her logic, I should have seen the note she left on the counter earlier this morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20634) - you deserved it (1861)
On 04/28/2012 at 11:55pm - misc - by thyisnothorses - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML
I agree, your life sucks (11621) - you deserved it (29649)
On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I tried to explain to my 23-year-old boyfriend the difference between "your" and "you're". I do this every other day, but it's like his head is permanently stuck in the first grade. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14712) - you deserved it (4810)
On 03/31/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by LiveLoveLys (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while waiting tables, I watched a woman pull the bacon off her roast beef melt and eat it. She then called me over and spent several minutes complaining about the our chefs' inadequacy because they didn't put bacon on her sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19758) - you deserved it (1196)
On 03/01/2012 at 7:47pm - work - by craigtm029429 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got punched by a man for making fun of his stutter. I didn't. I stutter too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30884) - you deserved it (1584)
On 02/02/2012 at 11:00pm - misc - by Sam (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up to the sound of a Suburban crashing through my fence and striking the tree in my front yard. After filling out the police report, the driver repeatedly asked me to give him a lift to work. He seemed confused by my speechlessness. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18046) - you deserved it (1386)
On 01/22/2012 at 12:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30772) - you deserved it (1520)
On 01/05/2012 at 6:43am - money - by cazorp (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that the neighbor I'd given a bottle of wine to for Christmas is a recovering alcoholic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21101) - you deserved it (807)
On 12/31/2011 at 1:48am - misc - by thechimpchapter - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my parents got a call from my English teacher. She told them that I have 14 days of detention because I've been cutting class. I've been there every day, but apparently she never noticed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28568) - you deserved it (2072)
On 10/22/2011 at 7:16pm - misc - by Bree - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend wrote me a break-up letter, using Comic Sans. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26059) - you deserved it (2900)
On 08/25/2011 at 10:33am - love - by hendrix1 - United States (California)
Today, a car hit me while I was in a crosswalk. The driver jumped out of her car and stepped over me to check her car for damage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32947) - you deserved it (2028)
On 06/15/2011 at 1:07am - health - by Username - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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