About WhyAmUHere : Ah, you. I was expecting you here, now. You're not really good at being quiet are you? You woke me from my nap. Now, let's get down to business. End this pathetic deception! I know you're hiding Martians in your head!! Gimme them Martians! I am going to put butter on them!! Yaargh!!! I want tacos!! Bow down!! Or I will unleash my zoinky army of surly crack-babies!! Everybody! Say it with me and wiggle!! Peas! Peas! Peas! Peas! Peas! Peas! Look! David Hasslehoff CAN fly!! And now employing juvenile mongoloid demon babies!! My famous chicken recipe will never be yours!! Grrr! Woof!
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I was severely chewed out by my boss because, according to him, I look down on him too often. I'm 6ft5. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16887) - you deserved it (1006) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 11/13/2012 at 4:23pm - work - by makiju - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was waitressing for a huge family. Their bill was $750. Excited about the tip, I was shocked to see only $0.50. As they were leaving, I threw the two whole quarters at their heads. Guess who also got fired today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13577) - you deserved it (28852)
On 11/06/2012 at 5:37pm - work - by Misunderstood Waitress (woman) - United States
Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to convert to a Christian. Not because she has a strong relation with God, but because she wants to post Facebook statuses about Him and "get a lot of likes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17781) - you deserved it (2031)
On 10/24/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18558) - you deserved it (2159)
On 10/23/2012 at 9:19pm - love - by SFra - United States
Today, I decided to show my friends the picture I drew, picturing the four of us in a zombie apocalypse setting. Turns out they never saw me as their friend and I'm creeping them out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17927) - you deserved it (5442)
On 10/22/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by Nana (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)
Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about extinct peoples, and I said how close the Jewish people came to becoming one. She condescendingly told me they don't exist anymore. When I asked what she was talking about, I realized she was confusing them with the Vikings. What the hell? FML
I agree, your life sucks (15345) - you deserved it (1901)
On 10/21/2012 at 12:00pm - misc - by tempted to become single (man) - United States (California)
Today, I tried to do my leaf collection project for biology, which ended with me being hospitalized because of an allergy attack. I have no idea what I'm allergic to, but my doctor says I should just assume I'm "allergic to all leaves, ever." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14107) - you deserved it (767)
On 10/21/2012 at 6:31am - health - by leaftheerickson (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend tried to wake me with a handjob. Because I'm a very light sleeper, I woke straight away and instinctively punched whoever was touching my dick. She forgave me, but I don't think her father ever will once he finds out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13788) - you deserved it (3193)
On 10/20/2012 at 1:29pm - love - by nahalDZ - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, while driving with my puppy in the passenger seat, he jumped out of the window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14557) - you deserved it (16024)
On 10/20/2012 at 3:16am - animals - by puppylove - United States
Today, while shopping, an old man came up to me and told me I should be ashamed for walking around fake limping, and that it's horrible to mock people who actually limp from serious injuries. I wasn't faking, I was born without my right leg and I was getting used to my new prosthetic one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24484) - you deserved it (834)
On 10/16/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by Faker (woman) - United States
Today, I was placed firmly in the friend-zone. By my wife. We've been married 10 years. She doesn't want a divorce, she says it'd be too "time-consuming." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21737) - you deserved it (1364)
On 10/11/2012 at 1:56am - love - by agh marriage (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my girlfriend of 3 months got mad at me because I thought she was attractive. She has an identical twin, and she says if I think she's attractive, I must want her twin too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24120) - you deserved it (1447)
On 10/08/2012 at 2:36pm - love - by jack - United States (Illinois)
Today, my seemingly normal girlfriend decided to erase every girl's name out of my phone. Family and all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17452) - you deserved it (1988)
On 10/04/2012 at 3:13am - love - by DCarreon (man) - United States (California)
Today, I realized I might lose my job because some asshole customer complained about me to my district manager. His complaint? Girls can't work at video game stores. My DM agreed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22950) - you deserved it (1594)
On 10/02/2012 at 9:11am - work - by GamerTag (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was on a plane returning to University, and I decided to shut my eyes. I opened them about 45 minutes later just as the plane landed to find I couldn't move at all. I was in sleep paralysis. The air hostesses had to lift me out of my seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19178) - you deserved it (1201)
On 09/27/2012 at 11:46am - health - by Dave (man) - United Kingdom
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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