Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 01/02/2016 at 12:13am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 September 1987 (28 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1199
  • Number of comments : 299
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About WhiteCrimson : I'm pretty straight forward and to the point kinda guy, I work as an paramedic. Yes i see a lot of things and yes I love every second of my job. Wouldn't trade it for anything els. Wana know more your welcome to pop me message.

WhiteCrimson's page activity

Visits<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 10:42am<b>yellow33</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 6:42pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 10:02am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 2:39am<b>dieana</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 2:24am<b>GAeroNKissR</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 11:48pm<b>Jesmassimo</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 12:52pm<b>ladyofdeath13</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 12:16pm<b>sam882</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 5:33pm<b>sweetgurl1985</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 10:48pm<b>delilablue95</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 9:36am<b>Shannonbena</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 1:02am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 10:42pm<b>princesskammm</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 8:12pm<b>nhatt</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 1:24pm<b>shanannygians07</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 2:50pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 11:53pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 12:48pm

Fucked!<b>Jesmassimo</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 6:52pm<b>GAeroNKissR</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 5:27am<b>sam882</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 8:19am<b>apineapple</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 5:53am<b>ladyofdeath13</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 5:10am<b>Dayumitsdillard</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 5:20pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 11:47am<b>kramona</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 3:28am<b>seriously_dave10</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 8:46pm<b>EclipseCandy6</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 6:19am<b>kkkkkkkkkka</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 1:09am<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 10:37pm<b>Korpz13</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 8:46am

WhiteCrimson's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.


Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of WhiteCrimson's badges

WhiteCrimson's favorite FMLs

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53872) - you deserved it (12430)

On 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, it marks the fourth month since my 15-year-old cousin asked me out, then started practically stalking me when I said no. It's also the fourth month of my parents and his constantly telling me to stop overreacting and that it's "just a phase." FML


I agree, your life sucks (46136) - you deserved it (3261)

On 06/22/2013 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my grandmother made a rule that every time we take a crap, she has to examine the turds to make sure they aren't big enough to clog up the pipes. I don't know what's worse: that she looks at my turds, or the fact that she actively comments on them. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47440) - you deserved it (3481)

On 06/22/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 months broke up with me after finding out that I reload my own shotgun shells and I shoot competitively. His reasoning? He didn't want to date a "cheap and dangerous woman." Seriously? FML

Today, in my psychology class we were covering OCDs. I have an issue with creased paper and my best friend brought it up, so for the next hour my class mates sat screwing up paper to see how long I could continuously have a panic attack. FML

Today, it wasn't until I heard something fly off the roof of my car and hit the trunk, then asphalt, that I remembered where I left my phone while unlocking the car door. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28930) - you deserved it (35544)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:51am - money - by Anonymous -

Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36902) - you deserved it (3825)

On 04/16/2013 at 7:13pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch my penis. FML


I agree, your life sucks (73662) - you deserved it (19150)

On 04/16/2013 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by Gurior - Canada

Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: