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About WhatAMishap : FML:Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I’d ever had. Trouble was, it wasn’t about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon.
First reply: This poster did seem to awaken
To find that his pants were forsaken
He had hoped that the cause
Was a hooker or bras
But alas: he was horny for bacon
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went to get a condom because boyfriend an I were going to have sex fir the frst time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, an a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML
Yesterday, My Guy Friend And I Were In His Dorm Room Watching A Movie When He Started Kissing Me. Thing Heated Up So We Moved Thing Over To His Bed. He Was On Me When A Hand Shoot Down From His Top Bunk. His Roommate Had Been Up There The Whole Time And He Wanted A High-five. So They High-fived. FML
Today, mah boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'vrginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'vrgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
todayile I was looking fir a file on my boyfriend's ard drive, I came acros poto of a alf-naked woman wearing my clotes, butose ead wasn't really visible. Wen I demanded an explanation, I realised tat it wasn't anoter grl - it was im. FML
Today , my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling an reassembling it) in my new room , because I couldn't fine ow I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between te mattress an te base,ere it was idden. FML
Today,hile I was out, I was having a drink with a pretty girl. She startd looking at mah crotch an said, smiling, "There's something burning down there." I smild, but she insistd. Ashes had set mah trousers on fire. FML
Friday 27 March 2015