About Whatamishap
FML:Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I’d ever had. Trouble was, it wasn’t about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. First reply: This poster did seem to awaken To find that his pants were forsaken He had hoped that the cause Was a hooker or bras But alas: he was horny for bacon OWNED!
Whatamishap - Followers
Whatamishap - Followed
Hugged!
Whatamishap's FML badges
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
    100%
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
    100%
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
    100%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    0%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    18%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    6%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    3%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    0%
The list of badges to find
Whatamishap's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was out, I was having a drink with a pretty girl. She started looking at my crotch and said, smiling, "There's something burning down there." I smiled, but she insisted. Ashes had set my trousers on fire. FML

By lageste / Thursday 20 November 2008 04:37 / France

Today, I was partnered with this really sexy guy for an audition. He says, "Am I really stuck with you? I can't even stand being seen with you in public!" I start cursing him out really loud, but then I realize that he's only reading the script. Everyone was staring, and he called me a crazy bitch. FML

By jazzyfizzle - / Sunday 31 May 2009 01:13 / United States

Today, I was in Walmart. I saw a demo for Guitar Hero on the DS so I started playing. I was kicking ass and really feeling great about myself. I then looked away for a second, looked back down, and saw that the notes were still being hit. The demo had been on automatic-player the entire time. FML

By theskippster / Saturday 30 May 2009 01:10 / United States

Today, at exactly midnight, I get a text from my boyfriend saying we were done. I had just seen him 4 hours ago when we were out celebrating my birthday, and asked why he didnt just tell me then. He replies 'I couldn't break up with you on your birthday but i wanted it to be over ASAP' FML

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 27 May 2009 01:09 / United States

Today, I was helping some mental health patients at work, I spent 20 mins to fail to connect the DVD player to the TV and went back to make them something to eat. I came back into the room after 5 mins and one of the patients had connected it for himself. He has a profound learning disability. FML

By Tom_why / Saturday 23 May 2009 19:27 / United Kingdom