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WhatAMishap

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WhatAMishap

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3998
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About WhatAMishap : FML:Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I’d ever had. Trouble was, it wasn’t about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon.

First reply: This poster did seem to awaken
To find that his pants were forsaken
He had hoped that the cause
Was a hooker or bras
But alas: he was horny for bacon

OWNED!

WhatAMishap's page activity

Visits<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 12:06am<b>agustibaarn</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 5:56pm<b>romzfml</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 3:38am<b>TRAN5LUC3NTtrtl</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 9:44am<b>slightlyins4ne</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 6:26pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:45pm<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 08/28/2009 at 6:22am<b>allie2590</b> - the 08/27/2009 at 11:32pm<b>leparoxysmic</b> - the 06/24/2009 at 5:06pm<b>xgiraffex19</b> - the 06/17/2009 at 3:27pm<b>CandyLolita</b> - the 06/14/2009 at 7:15am<b>nokiac_b</b> - the 06/12/2009 at 11:59pm<b>arcmih37</b> - the 06/12/2009 at 6:38pm<b>krisFrAnHeehar</b> - the 06/11/2009 at 6:10pm<b>Dolarhyde</b> - the 06/01/2009 at 11:03pm<b>DarkMirror</b> - the 06/01/2009 at 12:44pm<b>altna</b> - the 06/01/2009 at 1:57am<b>Juggalette_623</b> - the 05/30/2009 at 7:52am

WhatAMishap's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

WhatAMishap's favorite FMLs

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

#278783
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52373) - you deserved it (98195)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML

#265039
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (238786) - you deserved it (14797)

On 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by TuralSucks (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML

#251967
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (182954) - you deserved it (13213)

On 03/09/2009 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by tamponmayhem (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

#242557
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50906) - you deserved it (9801)

On 03/08/2009 at 3:08pm - kids - by nutsucker (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the ER for severe pain in my abdominal area. The doctor comes in after looking at the CT scan and says, "Well it's not your appendix." Thinking I'm in the clear I say, "That's Awesome", the doctor then responded with "It's probably your testicles." FML

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

#206263
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26674) - you deserved it (41610)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I slipped on the ice in front of my apartment, spraining my ankle and cracking a rib. While I laid on the ground immediately after, my neighbor chewed me out for saying "shit" in front of her 4-year-old on my way down. FML

#206067
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59025) - you deserved it (3034)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by stupidneighbor (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. Being the stud that I am, after a short time I turned to her and said "You think you're ready for a round two?" She replied "No, but I do think I'm ready for the rest of round one." FML

#204444
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22726) - you deserved it (103510)

On 03/04/2009 at 2:03am - intimacy - by saddude (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my wife told me that she wanted a divorce. It is also my 39th birthday today. For my birthday present, she gave me a subscription to match.com. FML

#203455
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (128722) - you deserved it (6820)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:15am - love - by you would (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year old daughter from her room texts me, "Stop." FML

#197620
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29902) - you deserved it (77061)

On 03/03/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by dad (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my fiancée broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML

#163689
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (334577) - you deserved it (28812)

On 02/28/2009 at 7:22pm - love - by loser (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to get a sports physical at a hospital. My nurse was morbidly obese and unattractive. She told me she would go through the tests listed on the sheet. She did everything, including feeling my genitalia. When it was done, I read over the sheet. Genitalia wasn't a test listed. FML

#162461
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (155834) - you deserved it (13878)

On 02/28/2009 at 4:58pm - health - by TahRah (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

#142104
963 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73438) - you deserved it (427648)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom decided to give me relationship advice. She told me the key to a happy/successful relationship was "letting your man explore ALL your orifices." FML

#130109
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42972) - you deserved it (3580)

On 02/25/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



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