WhatAMishap

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WhatAMishap

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4832
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About WhatAMishap : FML:Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I’d ever had. Trouble was, it wasn’t about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon.

First reply: This poster did seem to awaken
To find that his pants were forsaken
He had hoped that the cause
Was a hooker or bras
But alas: he was horny for bacon

OWNED!

WhatAMishap's page activity

Visits<b>BonerFart</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 6:24pm<b>jamaarlove</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 2:48pm<b>pointlessfool</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 9:59pm<b>captain_mal</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 7:10pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 12:06am<b>agustibaarn</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 5:56pm<b>romzfml</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 3:38am<b>TRAN5LUC3NTtrtl</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 9:44am<b>slightlyins4ne</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 6:26pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:45pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:56am<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 08/28/2009 at 6:22am<b>allie2590</b> - the 08/27/2009 at 11:32pm<b>leparoxysmic</b> - the 06/24/2009 at 5:06pm<b>xgiraffex19</b> - the 06/17/2009 at 3:27pm<b>CandyLolita</b> - the 06/14/2009 at 7:15am<b>nokiac_b</b> - the 06/12/2009 at 11:59pm<b>arcmih37</b> - the 06/12/2009 at 6:38pm

WhatAMishap's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

WhatAMishap's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a club with a couple of my friends. I met a really cute guy and we were getting along pretty well. We eventually exchanged numbers. Later on I decided to call him and set up a date. The number he gave me was the Rejection Hotline number. FML

by jonas_93 / 04/05/2009 at 3:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to meet his parents. They informed me they were lawyers throughout the meal, which explained the gorgeous house. My boyfriend excitedly told them I was promoted manager at my job. They asked where I work. I work at Burger King. FML

by Vac / 04/05/2009 at 10:12am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I were having some fertilization problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said "mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML

by manlyman / 04/05/2009 at 9:32am / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my boyfriend of almost ten months who his top five women to have it off with would be. I was third. My mom was second. FML

by lucky / 03/30/2009 at 8:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

by JAY22 / 03/26/2009 at 7:41am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 3:18am / Canada (British Columbia) / Geek

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home and was knocking on the door asking "What are you doing?" Thinking I might have a chance to sneak out, I got dressed real quiet. Then my boyfriend answers, "Zoe. I'm doing Zoe." FML

by Zoe123 / 03/19/2009 at 2:05am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

by MrAwsum / 03/17/2009 at 4:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied "oh I usually come early." She laughed. FML

by SmoothTalker / 03/16/2009 at 1:40pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML

by Noname / 03/14/2009 at 1:08am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 7:24am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 5:30am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy