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WhatAMishap

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WhatAMishap

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4067
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About WhatAMishap : FML:Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I’d ever had. Trouble was, it wasn’t about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon.

First reply: This poster did seem to awaken
To find that his pants were forsaken
He had hoped that the cause
Was a hooker or bras
But alas: he was horny for bacon

OWNED!

WhatAMishap's page activity

Visits<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 12:06am<b>agustibaarn</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 5:56pm<b>romzfml</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 3:38am<b>TRAN5LUC3NTtrtl</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 9:44am<b>slightlyins4ne</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 6:26pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:45pm<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 08/28/2009 at 6:22am<b>allie2590</b> - the 08/27/2009 at 11:32pm<b>leparoxysmic</b> - the 06/24/2009 at 5:06pm<b>xgiraffex19</b> - the 06/17/2009 at 3:27pm<b>CandyLolita</b> - the 06/14/2009 at 7:15am<b>nokiac_b</b> - the 06/12/2009 at 11:59pm<b>arcmih37</b> - the 06/12/2009 at 6:38pm<b>krisFrAnHeehar</b> - the 06/11/2009 at 6:10pm<b>Dolarhyde</b> - the 06/01/2009 at 11:03pm<b>DarkMirror</b> - the 06/01/2009 at 12:44pm<b>altna</b> - the 06/01/2009 at 1:57am<b>Juggalette_623</b> - the 05/30/2009 at 7:52am

WhatAMishap's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

WhatAMishap's favorite FMLs

Today, I rear-ended a car. While we were waiting for the police, we made small talk, at which time I learned he was an attorney. FML

#2454522
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44293) - you deserved it (7723)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:45am - misc - by T-Shain (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was partnered with this really sexy guy for an audition. He says, "Am I really stuck with you? I can't even stand being seen with you in public!" I start cursing him out really loud, but then I realize that he's only reading the script. Everyone was staring, and he called me a crazy bitch. FML

#2445222
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11323) - you deserved it (63363)

On 05/30/2009 at 9:13pm - misc - by jazzyfizzle (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in Walmart. I saw a demo for Guitar Hero on the DS so I started playing. I was kicking ass and really feeling great about myself. I then looked away for a second, looked back down, and saw that the notes were still being hit. The demo had been on automatic-player the entire time. FML

#2414317
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17188) - you deserved it (59872)

On 05/29/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by theskippster - United States (Maryland)

Today, at exactly midnight, I get a text from my boyfriend saying we were done. I had just seen him 4 hours ago when we were out celebrating my birthday, and asked why he didnt just tell me then. He replies 'I couldn't break up with you on your birthday but i wanted it to be over ASAP' FML

#2323618
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50586) - you deserved it (3005)

On 05/26/2009 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was helping some mental health patients at work, I spent 20 mins to fail to connect the DVD player to the TV and went back to make them something to eat. I came back into the room after 5 mins and one of the patients had connected it for himself. He has a profound learning disability. FML

#2213271
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39158) - you deserved it (21384)

On 05/23/2009 at 3:27pm - misc - by Tom_why - United Kingdom (North East Lincolnshire)

Today, I decided to tell my mother what I thought about religion. I've been raised catholic. I told her I was converting to Wicca, to which she sort of nodded and walked away. I went into my room to study with my earbuds in, music loud. I walked out to see a cross nailed above my door. FML

#2202679
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37471) - you deserved it (31925)

On 05/23/2009 at 1:50am - misc - by Sigh (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33218) - you deserved it (144817)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized that my father's weekly unemployment check is more than my bi-weekly pay check. My full time job pays less than my father's unemployment. FML

#2015080
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58650) - you deserved it (4670)

On 05/17/2009 at 1:42pm - money - by thatsucks (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was sitting next to the guy I like and he was doing homework. Then, he looks up, his eyes meeting mine. His smooth voice mutters my name as his face inches closer to mine. I can feel his minty breath against my face. My pulse is racing. Then, he says "What's a pronoun?" FML

#1372393
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55220) - you deserved it (10882)

On 04/26/2009 at 9:14pm - love - by theatreismylife (woman) - United States (California)

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38635) - you deserved it (129786)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
930 comments

I agree, your life sucks (355352) - you deserved it (38858)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was delivering packages to patients in the hospital for my job. My boss gave me a room to deliver to, and I drop it off as usual. But my boss gave me the wrong room number. I had to walk in, apologize, and take back balloons and a stuffed animal from a crying 6year old patient. FML

#819643
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (118464) - you deserved it (7191)

On 04/05/2009 at 4:17pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was riding my bike and stopped at a street light. A little girl looked at me, then asked her mother, "Mommy, why does that girl have a ring through her nose?" Her mother then replied, "Because her parents don't love her." FML

#818828
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64575) - you deserved it (17706)

On 04/05/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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