WeezyBites

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WeezyBites

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1604
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About WeezyBites : Oh, hello there.

WeezyBites's page activity

Visits<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 12:00am<b>MethuselahTurtle</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 7:28am<b>helloimkylieee</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 11:24pm<b>zAstonish</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 3:07am<b>theinfiniteend</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 3:00pm<b>papygeorges</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 6:12pm<b>naaddzz</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 12:30am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 7:20am<b>cupcakekate9</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 6:56pm<b>RawrPancaked</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 4:40pm<b>papashaan</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 3:09pm<b>EnJey0</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 6:06pm<b>sevazilla</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 3:27pm<b>agustibaarn</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 10:49am<b>abbythemuffin</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 4:09pm<b>jerryj</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 8:38am<b>AE101</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 5:47pm<b>Anthonymm2</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 4:42am

Fucked!<b>papygeorges</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 12:12am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 1:20pm<b>sevazilla</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 9:27pm

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WeezyBites's favorite FMLs

Today, I went out shopping. When I left the store, I saw my ex, who I'm still crazy about. He helped me carry my bags out to the car. When I leaned in to give him a hug goodbye, he stepped aside, and I fell face-first into a puddle. He walked away laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2011 at 3:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out shopping. When I left the store, I saw my ex, who I'm still crazy about. He helped me carry my bags out to the car. When I leaned in to give him a hug goodbye, he stepped aside, and I fell face-first into a puddle. He walked away laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2011 at 3:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while jogging in the park, I saw a man acting strange and trying to talk to 3 little girls. I jogged over to their mother and warned her about a 'weirdo' lurking around her daughters. Turns out that 'weirdo' is the woman's disabled brother. FML

by cristina_laila / 10/15/2011 at 9:13pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML

by Brie / 09/05/2011 at 9:00am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML

by -- / 09/04/2011 at 12:42pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2011 at 12:48am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was flipping through a magazine and saw an ad that had the line "No corn, no wheat, no soy", all of which I'm severely allergic to. I got so excited at the prospect of having a food I could eat, I fell out of my chair. I then realized it was an ad for dog food. FML

by ChelseaRae / 07/06/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Health

Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML

by cdn_steed / 04/23/2011 at 9:11am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML

by spiderwoman / 04/15/2011 at 7:47am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Animals

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2011 at 11:14am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my husband told me I was lucky to have someone who would love me no matter what my vagina smelled like. FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2011 at 6:28am / Reserved / Intimacy

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy