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WeezyBites

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WeezyBites

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 958
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About WeezyBites : Oh, hello there.

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WeezyBites's favorite FMLs

Today, I went out shopping. When I left the store, I saw my ex, who I'm still crazy about. He helped me carry my bags out to the car. When I leaned in to give him a hug goodbye, he stepped aside, and I fell face-first into a puddle. He walked away laughing. FML

#18015819
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31539) - you deserved it (9185)

On 10/18/2011 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went out shopping. When I left the store, I saw my ex, who I'm still crazy about. He helped me carry my bags out to the car. When I leaned in to give him a hug goodbye, he stepped aside, and I fell face-first into a puddle. He walked away laughing. FML

#18015819
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31539) - you deserved it (9185)

On 10/18/2011 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while jogging in the park, I saw a man acting strange and trying to talk to 3 little girls. I jogged over to their mother and warned her about a 'weirdo' lurking around her daughters. Turns out that 'weirdo' is the woman's disabled brother. FML

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54838) - you deserved it (5409)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85170) - you deserved it (13063)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML

#17669006
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29847) - you deserved it (2770)

On 09/05/2011 at 9:00am - misc - by Brie - United States (Georgia)

Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML

#17661211
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31917) - you deserved it (2646)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:42pm - work - by -- - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

#17496000
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27683) - you deserved it (3333)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73567) - you deserved it (7675)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was flipping through a magazine and saw an ad that had the line "No corn, no wheat, no soy", all of which I'm severely allergic to. I got so excited at the prospect of having a food I could eat, I fell out of my chair. I then realized it was an ad for dog food. FML

#16995078
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31862) - you deserved it (4866)

On 07/06/2011 at 1:11am - health - by ChelseaRae (woman) - United States

Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML

#15896173
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30359) - you deserved it (4153)

On 04/23/2011 at 9:11am - health - by cdn_steed - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML

#15793137
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17505) - you deserved it (27835)

On 04/15/2011 at 7:47am - animals - by spiderwoman (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

#15619603
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72420) - you deserved it (5878)

On 04/03/2011 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband told me I was lucky to have someone who would love me no matter what my vagina smelled like. FML

#15215941
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40326) - you deserved it (20878)

On 03/06/2011 at 6:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69627) - you deserved it (6563)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



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