Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

WaywardDaughter

Offline (yesterday at 4:24pm) | Search for a member

WaywardDaughter

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1152
  • Number of comments : 119
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About WaywardDaughter : Anything you say here can and will be used against you.Live long and prosper!

WaywardDaughter's page activity

Visits<b>A_Rabid_Dear</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 7:40pm<b>kasso29</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 11:24pm<b>4EverMarie</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 9:41pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 1:04pm<b>James_S_L</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 11:41am<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 1:29pm<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 10:29am<b>thexguyxnextdoor</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 10:58pm<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 1:29pm<b>TunaFireStarter</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 12:29pm<b>Patriot115</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 10:24am<b>sweetbliss3</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 11:12pm<b>sarcasticlover</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 12:00am<b>thewomen</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 11:17pm<b>Austin0101</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 9:31pm<b>speechprincess</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 1:09am<b>starile</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 10:38pm<b>SlapAndTickle</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 9:09am

WaywardDaughter's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of WaywardDaughter's badges

WaywardDaughter's favorite FMLs

Today, I continued my habit of saying, "It smells like lung cancer over here" any time I see a smoker. This guy turned out to be an amateur MMA fighter, and I was his "workout" for the day. I guess his lungs are doing fine. FML

Today, I paid a social visit to my grandparents. While we were watching the news, a story came on about the Queen of England. I scoffed, "How is she not dead already? How old is she, anyway?" My grandmother replied, "About my age." Oops. FML

#19910434
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6564) - you deserved it (37146) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2012 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - France

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

#19848753
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6487) - you deserved it (46418)

On 06/26/2012 at 1:44am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a kid got his hand stuck inside my store's giant gumball machine. He started crying, and his negligent train-wreck of a mom bitched me out for being "unobservant." I'd been mopping up the mess she'd made after she spilled an open can of beer all over the floor. FML

#19839464
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27553) - you deserved it (1481)

On 06/24/2012 at 2:41pm - work - by hannaslifesucks (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML

#19805199
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22029) - you deserved it (3539)

On 06/18/2012 at 12:57am - love - by crazybitch - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while I was at work in a machine shop, I cut myself really bad. Not by any sharp tools, drills, or metals I work with. Just the soap dispenser. FML

#19535825
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18290) - you deserved it (3816)

On 04/27/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Bullocks (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that my daughter refuses to eat, but not because she's anorexic. Apparently, her health class has learned about the digestive system and now she refuses to "take part in something so gross." FML

#19530621
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23825) - you deserved it (2236)

On 04/26/2012 at 12:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I've now received my 73rd email in two days about my masters group project on policy recommendations for security reform. One group member has helpfully rewritten everything, and our project is now titled "Zeus's Earthly Kingdom." It's due today. FML

#19526549
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16623) - you deserved it (2319)

On 04/25/2012 at 9:25am - work - by IHateGroupProjects (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML

#19525636
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18216) - you deserved it (9279)

On 04/25/2012 at 12:50am - misc - by unfortunate (woman) - Sweden

Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML

#19522939
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23043) - you deserved it (17317)

On 04/24/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by Jaclk - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband announced that he wants to separate emotionally. Meanwhile, he still wants me to cook and clean for him while he dates his new girlfriend. FML

#19522114
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38547) - you deserved it (2884)

On 04/24/2012 at 2:18pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I paid for someone else's pee so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML

#19520767
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8281) - you deserved it (63266)

On 04/24/2012 at 4:29am - work - by xharmonyx - United States

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

#19509709
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26627) - you deserved it (11017)

On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML

#19505395
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23129) - you deserved it (3594)

On 04/21/2012 at 9:04am - love - by still hungry - United States (Illinois)

Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I told her she was dead wrong when she claimed that rabbits lay eggs. FML

#19376586
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22845) - you deserved it (4592)

On 03/30/2012 at 2:44pm - kids - by James (man) - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: