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WaywardDaughter

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WaywardDaughter
  • Town/Country : Pleasantville, USA
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 656
  • Number of comments : 119
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About WaywardDaughter : Anything you say here can and will be used against you.Live long and prosper!

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100 kick ass comments

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WaywardDaughter's favorite FMLs

Today, I continued my habit of saying, "It smells like lung cancer over here" any time I see a smoker. This guy turned out to be an amateur MMA fighter, and I was his "workout" for the day. I guess his lungs are doing fine. FML

Today, I paid a social visit to my grandparents. While we were watching the news, a story came on about the Queen of England. I scoffed, "How is she not dead already? How old is she, anyway?" My grandmother replied, "About my age." Oops. FML

#19910434
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5543) - you deserved it (34085) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2012 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - France

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

#19848753
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5570) - you deserved it (43167)

On 06/26/2012 at 1:44am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a kid got his hand stuck inside my store's giant gumball machine. He started crying, and his negligent train-wreck of a mom bitched me out for being "unobservant." I'd been mopping up the mess she'd made after she spilled an open can of beer all over the floor. FML

#19839464
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25611) - you deserved it (1338)

On 06/24/2012 at 2:41pm - work - by hannaslifesucks (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML

#19805199
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16708) - you deserved it (2517)

On 06/18/2012 at 12:57am - love - by crazybitch - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while I was at work in a machine shop, I cut myself really bad. Not by any sharp tools, drills, or metals I work with. Just the soap dispenser. FML

#19535825
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16937) - you deserved it (3649)

On 04/27/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Bullocks (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that my daughter refuses to eat, but not because she's anorexic. Apparently, her health class has learned about the digestive system and now she refuses to "take part in something so gross." FML

#19530621
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21192) - you deserved it (2030)

On 04/26/2012 at 12:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I've now received my 73rd email in two days about my masters group project on policy recommendations for security reform. One group member has helpfully rewritten everything, and our project is now titled "Zeus's Earthly Kingdom." It's due today. FML

#19526549
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15444) - you deserved it (2192)

On 04/25/2012 at 9:25am - work - by IHateGroupProjects (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML

#19525636
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17136) - you deserved it (9046)

On 04/25/2012 at 12:50am - misc - by unfortunate (woman) - Sweden

Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML

#19522939
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18685) - you deserved it (12784)

On 04/24/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by Jaclk - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband announced that he wants to separate emotionally. Meanwhile, he still wants me to cook and clean for him while he dates his new girlfriend. FML

#19522114
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33840) - you deserved it (2533)

On 04/24/2012 at 2:18pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I paid for someone else's pee so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML

#19520767
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7261) - you deserved it (58196)

On 04/24/2012 at 4:29am - work - by xharmonyx - United States

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

#19509709
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23755) - you deserved it (10142)

On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML

#19505395
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21364) - you deserved it (3435)

On 04/21/2012 at 9:04am - love - by still hungry - United States (Illinois)

Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I told her she was dead wrong when she claimed that rabbits lay eggs. FML

#19376586
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19156) - you deserved it (4206)

On 03/30/2012 at 2:44pm - kids - by James (man) - United States



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