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WaywardDaughter

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WaywardDaughter
  • Town/Country : Pleasantville, USA
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 651
  • Number of comments : 119
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About WaywardDaughter : Anything you say here can and will be used against you.Live long and prosper!

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100 kick ass comments

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WaywardDaughter's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my daughter to a pony ride at the fair. I paid to have her picture taken, and when we got home, I emailed it to my mom. She replied, disgustedly pointing out that the pretty little pony was displaying a pretty little penis. FML

#20076226
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15543) - you deserved it (1894)

On 09/17/2012 at 1:16pm - animals - by :,< - United States

Today, I took my daughter to a pony ride at the fair. I paid to have her picture taken, and when we got home, I emailed it to my mom. She replied, disgustedly pointing out that the pretty little pony was displaying a pretty little penis. FML

#20076226
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15543) - you deserved it (1894)

On 09/17/2012 at 1:16pm - animals - by :,< - United States

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

#20051425
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10292) - you deserved it (32079)

On 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by pride? what's that? :( (woman) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML

#20032631
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22110) - you deserved it (1543)

On 08/20/2012 at 8:46pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was driving out to a concert I've been excited about for months. I was using my GPS to guide me to the venue. It decided to guide me to an abandoned warehouse in the middle of town. FML

#20021994
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13879) - you deserved it (2637)

On 08/15/2012 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML

#20015372
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28876) - you deserved it (1752)

On 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm - work - by mikeissad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while housesitting my neighbor's dogs the phone rang. I answered it and a voice said, "Stop checking your Facebook and take care of my dogs. They look like they need to go out." FML

#20013194
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8278) - you deserved it (26145)

On 08/10/2012 at 7:42am - animals - by Bobby - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML

#20004599
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19890) - you deserved it (4253)

On 08/05/2012 at 9:10pm - kids - by milf - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to go to the gym with him, and I responded that we could do another kind of workout upstairs. He quickly said he'd rather just go to the gym. FML

#20000076
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18864) - you deserved it (3870)

On 08/03/2012 at 8:14am - intimacy - by rejected4555 (woman) - United States

Today, a coworker informed me that she thinks I may be descended from a race of goblins, because of my squat stature, ugly face and hairy arms. She was being completely serious. FML

#19995807
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18502) - you deserved it (1624)

On 08/01/2012 at 1:46am - work - by Goblin Girl (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML

#19994389
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6946) - you deserved it (42932)

On 07/31/2012 at 11:53am - love - by TheMissMuffly (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML

#19993820
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21977) - you deserved it (3829)

On 07/31/2012 at 1:36am - kids - by mcase - United States (California)

Today, I went to a corner store to re-stock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML

#19992100
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8347) - you deserved it (21122)

On 07/30/2012 at 2:59am - misc - by fmlgrl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24597) - you deserved it (11925)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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