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Warmonger_Smurf

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Warmonger_Smurf

5Fucked!

Warmonger_SmurfWarmonger_Smurf
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2501
  • Number of comments : 441
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About Warmonger_Smurf : I read FML's on my down time.

Warmonger_Smurf's page activity

Visits<b>QueenBii</b> - 20 hours ago<b>rd_23</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 3:09am<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 1:05am<b>DemonicOtaku101</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 10:48pm<b>Loving_Life98McK</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 9:56pm<b>WKAYULREO</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 9:44pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 9:27pm<b>lkah</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 8:35am<b>natty11</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 7:14pm<b>xDanax03</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 4:23pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 3:32pm<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 10:01am<b>geoh0400</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 12:20am<b>paxtoncat</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 1:23pm<b>fraankiexx</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 2:45am<b>markcantlarp</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 2:07am<b>The12thPaladin</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 2:29am<b>andrmac</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 7:54pm

Fucked!<b>WKAYULREO</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 3:44am<b>andrmac</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 1:54am<b>ChinchillaLady</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 9:12pm<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 6:33pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 1:18pm

Warmonger_Smurf's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Warmonger_Smurf's badges

Warmonger_Smurf's favorite FMLs

Today, I read the instructions on my new prescription constipation medicine: "For best results, defecate before use." FML

#21493972
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21286) - you deserved it (1603)

On 11/18/2015 at 9:50am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I got several angry messages on Facebook, demanding to know how I could cheat on my wife. They didn't believe me when I said I had no idea what they meant. Turns out my wife made a sarcastic post about my "new mistress". She was talking about Fallout 4. FML

Today, I was reading comments on an FML, and saw some made from my girlfriend's account. Now I know she's one of those people who say "Dump him!" even when the situation clearly doesn't warrant dumping. Looks like I might be in for a sudden breakup in the future. FML

#21492027
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22789) - you deserved it (2487)

On 11/13/2015 at 8:34am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, my boyfriend, who is rather large, picked me up to give me a hug, and some over-eager security guard actually pointed his tazer at him and told him to put me down. So he put me down and tried to ask what he'd done wrong. The bastard tazed him for acting aggressively. FML

#21490908
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28776) - you deserved it (1631)

On 11/10/2015 at 5:15pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Czech Republic

Today, at our wedding, instead of saying "I do", my fiancé paused before saying, "I can't do this", stepped down from the altar and proposed to my maid of honor. When she obviously refused, he ran from the venue bawling. He's not returning my calls. FML

#21482431
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36042) - you deserved it (2315)

On 10/21/2015 at 12:46am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

#21397883
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46164) - you deserved it (3444)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43683) - you deserved it (13254)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my brother got upset at his video game and flung his DS at the wall, just as I was walking by. I got knocked out to the sound of someone crossing the finish line in MarioKart. FML

#21285323
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34094) - you deserved it (2725)

On 10/25/2014 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38518) - you deserved it (4213)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a girl puked on me. No warnings, nothing. She just threw up on me, then walked off like nothing even happened. FML

#21271247
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42287) - you deserved it (3008)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:48pm - health - by Eww - United States (Oregon)

Today, I tasted a perfectly salted, crispy, and dead carpenter ant hidden in my bag of pistachios. FML

#21242612
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35524) - you deserved it (3458)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:48pm - misc - by ReluctantAntEater (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46933) - you deserved it (6697)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss fired me after chewing me out for the horrible date he had with my mother. FML

#21138556
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49963) - you deserved it (4325)

On 05/13/2014 at 10:29am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, school was out because of snow. My dad walked in my room and shouted "Why are you home?!" I told him why, and he replied, "Then get out the damn house and play in the snow." He tossed me out in nothing but my shorts. FML

#21037332
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40096) - you deserved it (4995)

On 01/23/2014 at 4:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML

#20879909
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48667) - you deserved it (5861)

On 09/13/2013 at 5:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom



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