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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3556
  • Number of comments : 501
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About Warmonger_Smurf : I read FML's on my down time.

Warmonger_Smurf's page activity

Visits<b>conman317</b> - the 11/29/2016 at 1:20pm<b>nissanleaf</b> - the 11/25/2016 at 8:24pm<b>whatahatuis</b> - the 11/25/2016 at 7:53am<b>aggoden_bed</b> - the 11/21/2016 at 1:23am<b>agostina_mc</b> - the 11/20/2016 at 7:55pm<b>mas12806</b> - the 11/20/2016 at 2:57pm<b>Mons</b> - the 11/19/2016 at 4:15am<b>csjc</b> - the 11/19/2016 at 3:40am<b>raphanne</b> - the 10/22/2016 at 4:58pm<b>novdestiny</b> - the 10/20/2016 at 8:14pm<b>rockaroths</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 10:55pm<b>wallac7</b> - the 10/01/2016 at 1:21pm<b>BoneCollector</b> - the 09/30/2016 at 11:22pm<b>indefiniteforest</b> - the 09/26/2016 at 4:07am<b>hall0ween</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 2:23pm<b>smallbuilder3</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 1:56am<b>thinlinetele</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 8:09pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 6:40pm

Fucked!<b>csjc</b> - the 11/19/2016 at 9:40am<b>BoneCollector</b> - the 10/01/2016 at 5:22am<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 4:07pm<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 6:25pm<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 6:19am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 5:38am<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 7:04pm<b>WKAYULREO</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 3:44am<b>andrmac</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 1:54am<b>ChinchillaLady</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 9:12pm<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 6:33pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 1:18pm

Warmonger_Smurf's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!


You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

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Warmonger_Smurf's favorite FMLs

Today, I read the instructions on my new prescription constipation medicine: "For best results, defecate before use." FML

by Anonymous / 11/18/2015 at 9:50am / Canada / Health

Today, I got several angry messages on Facebook, demanding to know how I could cheat on my wife. They didn't believe me when I said I had no idea what they meant. Turns out my wife made a sarcastic post about my "new mistress". She was talking about Fallout 4. FML

by FalloutScrolls / 11/13/2015 at 9:49am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was reading comments on an FML, and saw some made from my girlfriend's account. Now I know she's one of those people who say "Dump him!" even when the situation clearly doesn't warrant dumping. Looks like I might be in for a sudden breakup in the future. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2015 at 8:34am / Love

Today, my boyfriend, who is rather large, picked me up to give me a hug, and some over-eager security guard actually pointed his tazer at him and told him to put me down. So he put me down and tried to ask what he'd done wrong. The bastard tazed him for acting aggressively. FML

by anonymous / 11/10/2015 at 5:15pm / Czech Republic / Miscellaneous

Today, at our wedding, instead of saying "I do", my fiancé paused before saying, "I can't do this", stepped down from the altar and proposed to my maid of honor. When she obviously refused, he ran from the venue bawling. He's not returning my calls. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2015 at 12:46am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2015 at 10:14am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

by jay-frey96 / 11/02/2014 at 10:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my brother got upset at his video game and flung his DS at the wall, just as I was walking by. I got knocked out to the sound of someone crossing the finish line in MarioKart. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2014 at 11:28pm / United States (Oregon) / Geek

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

by facepalm / 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, a girl puked on me. No warnings, nothing. She just threw up on me, then walked off like nothing even happened. FML

by Eww / 10/05/2014 at 1:48pm / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, I tasted a perfectly salted, crispy, and dead carpenter ant hidden in my bag of pistachios. FML

by ReluctantAntEater / 08/21/2014 at 5:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my boss fired me after chewing me out for the horrible date he had with my mother. FML

by fired / 05/13/2014 at 10:29am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, school was out because of snow. My dad walked in my room and shouted "Why are you home?!" I told him why, and he replied, "Then get out the damn house and play in the snow." He tossed me out in nothing but my shorts. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2014 at 4:49pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2013 at 5:40pm / United Kingdom / Kids