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50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, while all the other marines got to fly around the island on a helicopter, I got stuck on gear guard. What was I guarding? The staff sergeant's parking spot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27325) - you deserved it (3188)
On 05/23/2011 at 10:41pm - work - by rogerusmc23 - Japan (Tokyo)
Today, I found myself crying for an hour when my recreated crush on The Sims 3 game rejected my character and ran off with someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13860) - you deserved it (39622)
On 04/29/2011 at 3:34pm - love - by Nxydolli (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)
Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23234) - you deserved it (2378)
On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)
Today, I felt like adding my real middle name to my facebook name to make it look more professional. It was denied because they didn't feel it was a legitimate request. Minutes later, someone with the name of "Galactic Toast" friend requested me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21990) - you deserved it (2993)
On 12/01/2010 at 2:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12288) - you deserved it (40531)
On 11/20/2010 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by pst - South Africa (Western Cape)
Today, I found out that my "I don't believe in pre-marital sex" boyfriend is the father of my younger sister's newborn baby. After four years of being in a serious, but sexless, relationship, I am now single, horny, and an aunt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44480) - you deserved it (4278)
On 10/04/2010 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Why? Because apparently her friends have seen me hanging out with a hot girl, giving her long hugs and making her laugh. That "hot girl" is my sister, who got back from her study abroad a week ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25901) - you deserved it (1877)
On 02/15/2010 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, after a long day of cleaning, I decided to make a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch. Reaching for what I thought was Pam I coated my bread with spray and put my sandwich in the pan. Pledge makes a great looking sandwich, but the lemony flavor tastes like crap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5476) - you deserved it (18313)
On 11/19/2009 at 2:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20801) - you deserved it (3690)
On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. She also confessed that she has been cheating on me with my best friend for 10 years. I appreciated the honesty, but was slightly upset considering we have only been married for 9 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47713) - you deserved it (2057)
On 07/29/2009 at 4:23pm - work - by allocomrade (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I realized that a Ph.D. in Mechanical Engineering does not offer enough knowledge and experience to accomplish some simple, everyday tasks. I have spent the last 12 years designing large robots to scour the seabed for shipwrecks yet the mechanism used to unhook a bra eludes me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40456) - you deserved it (14347)
On 06/30/2009 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, 3 of the 4 stalls were occupied in the rest room. I took the 4th stall. Upon sitting, I let out one of the longest, loudest farts I have done in a long time. Next, I hear "Hey, how's it going?". I was CORRECTLY identified by a co-worker hearing me fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45726) - you deserved it (9247)
On 04/30/2009 at 10:55am - work - by RckRagman (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I called my husband and he told me that he was going to invite his friend Jeff over that night. I told him I would prefer that he didn't come over. He took it to mean that I wanted to spend time with him and came home with flowers. Then had to tell him I was leaving him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10447) - you deserved it (106399)
On 04/21/2009 at 11:24pm - love - by kellym (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mom asked if she could use my red dress for her two-week trip to the Caribbean. I said no, because I was going to a party and I wanted to wear it. She called me a selfish, greedy bitch who would stay single forever. I paid for her plane ticket, her hotel fees and her cruise ship fee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (144675) - you deserved it (8109)
On 04/14/2009 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was teasing my boyfriend telling him that my butt was so much cuter than his and that at least mine wasn't smelly stinky or hairy. Then he said yeah, I just wish that your vag was the same way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14875) - you deserved it (49615)
On 02/26/2009 at 5:11pm - intimacy - by FMluck (woman) - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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