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Warmonger_Smurf

Offline (16 hours ago) | Search for a member

Warmonger_Smurf

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1262
  • Number of comments : 339
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Warmonger_Smurf : I read FML's on my down time.

Warmonger_Smurf's page activity

Visits<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 2:10am<b>Topsaber</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 4:58pm<b>Acid1260</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 9:42am<b>sam882</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 2:10pm<b>Amant97</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 7:06pm<b>andiiibandiii526</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 12:10pm<b>jman1028</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 10:06am<b>jayeterror775</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 6:53pm<b>StupidMonkey497</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 1:18pm<b>ManOnTheMoon1849</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 10:44pm<b>Allusivness</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 6:20pm<b>paramor3</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 7:26am<b>Farmillionaire</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:34pm<b>ksktwin84</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 8:03am<b>JensenAckles</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 4:17pm<b>mr_t_07</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 5:19am<b>boobear19883</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 3:17am<b>DrSkillz</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 10:56pm

Warmonger_Smurf's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of Warmonger_Smurf's badges

Warmonger_Smurf's favorite FMLs

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37583) - you deserved it (10592)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my brother got upset at his video game and flung his DS at the wall, just as I was walking by. I got knocked out to the sound of someone crossing the finish line in MarioKart. FML

#21285323
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31558) - you deserved it (2515)

On 10/25/2014 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35575) - you deserved it (3733)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a girl puked on me. No warnings, nothing. She just threw up on me, then walked off like nothing even happened. FML

#21271247
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39416) - you deserved it (2495)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:48pm - health - by Eww - United States (Oregon)

Today, I tasted a perfectly salted, crispy, and dead carpenter ant hidden in my bag of pistachios. FML

#21242612
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32679) - you deserved it (3010)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:48pm - misc - by ReluctantAntEater (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43009) - you deserved it (6138)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss fired me after chewing me out for the horrible date he had with my mother. FML

#21138556
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46632) - you deserved it (4044)

On 05/13/2014 at 10:29am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, school was out because of snow. My dad walked in my room and shouted "Why are you home?!" I told him why, and he replied, "Then get out the damn house and play in the snow." He tossed me out in nothing but my shorts. FML

#21037332
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37324) - you deserved it (4694)

On 01/23/2014 at 4:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML

#20879909
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45155) - you deserved it (5433)

On 09/13/2013 at 5:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

#20860349
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38804) - you deserved it (13125)

On 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm - kids - by thanks, dad... (woman) - Romania (Maramures)

Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook as she did not like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML

#20761484
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68092) - you deserved it (4344)

On 07/03/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Nicks - United States (Nevada)

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79521) - you deserved it (7238)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, it wasn't until I heard something fly off the roof of my car and hit the trunk, then asphalt, that I remembered where I left my phone while unlocking the car door. FML

#20598583
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27243) - you deserved it (33399)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:51am - money - by Anonymous -

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML

#20571304
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35121) - you deserved it (7605)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:30am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

#20565460
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44495) - you deserved it (15113)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)



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