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Warmonger_Smurf

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Warmonger_Smurf

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1116
  • Number of comments : 338
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Warmonger_Smurf : I read FML's on my down time.

Warmonger_Smurf's page activity

Visits<b>andiiibandiii526</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 12:10pm<b>jman1028</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 10:06am<b>jayeterror775</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 6:53pm<b>StupidMonkey497</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 1:18pm<b>ManOnTheMoon1849</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 10:44pm<b>Allusivness</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 6:20pm<b>paramor3</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 7:26am<b>Farmillionaire</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:34pm<b>ksktwin84</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 8:03am<b>JensenAckles</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 4:17pm<b>mr_t_07</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 5:19am<b>boobear19883</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 3:17am<b>DrSkillz</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 10:56pm<b>Jadoosh_19</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 10:28pm<b>A_Dead_Fish32</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 8:43pm<b>Happy_FairyTail</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:26pm<b>HJKM</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 7:39pm<b>GeekySavy</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:56am

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Warmonger_Smurf's favorite FMLs

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34007) - you deserved it (3687)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a girl puked on me. No warnings, nothing. She just threw up on me, then walked off like nothing even happened. FML

#21271247
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38717) - you deserved it (2482)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:48pm - health - by Eww - United States (Oregon)

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42953) - you deserved it (6129)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss fired me after chewing me out for the horrible date he had with my mother. FML

#21138556
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46583) - you deserved it (4043)

On 05/13/2014 at 10:29am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, school was out because of snow. My dad walked in my room and shouted "Why are you home?!" I told him why, and he replied, "Then get out the damn house and play in the snow." He tossed me out in nothing but my shorts. FML

#21037332
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37287) - you deserved it (4689)

On 01/23/2014 at 4:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML

#20879909
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45076) - you deserved it (5427)

On 09/13/2013 at 5:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook as she did not like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML

#20761484
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66730) - you deserved it (4239)

On 07/03/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Nicks - United States (Nevada)

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79372) - you deserved it (7226)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, it wasn't until I heard something fly off the roof of my car and hit the trunk, then asphalt, that I remembered where I left my phone while unlocking the car door. FML

#20598583
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26798) - you deserved it (32862)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:51am - money - by Anonymous -

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML

#20571304
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35070) - you deserved it (7599)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:30am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

#20565460
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44411) - you deserved it (15090)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I received my first ever hand-job. It would have been great if she didn't wipe it across my face when I had finished and storm out of the room. FML

Today, I received my first ever hand-job. It would have been great if she didn't wipe it across my face when I had finished and storm out of the room. FML

Today, I sampled some of the food my fiancée's mom is making for our wedding. Everything tasted terrible, and I almost vomited. Turns out she never actually went to culinary school as she claimed, but had just watched Julie and Julia. It's too late to book another caterer for the wedding. FML

#20145916
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23463) - you deserved it (4979)

On 11/03/2012 at 3:42pm - health - by WeddingWoes (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

#20139786
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10224) - you deserved it (40598)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)



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Friday 17 October 2014

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