Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Warmonger_Smurf

Online | Search for a member

Warmonger_Smurf

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1036
  • Number of comments : 338
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Warmonger_Smurf : I read FML's on my down time.

Warmonger_Smurf's page activity

Visits<b>andiiibandiii526</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 12:10pm<b>jman1028</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 10:06am<b>jayeterror775</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 6:53pm<b>StupidMonkey497</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 1:18pm<b>ManOnTheMoon1849</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 10:44pm<b>Allusivness</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 6:20pm<b>paramor3</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 7:26am<b>Farmillionaire</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:34pm<b>ksktwin84</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 8:03am<b>JensenAckles</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 4:17pm<b>mr_t_07</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 5:19am<b>boobear19883</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 3:17am<b>DrSkillz</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 10:56pm<b>Jadoosh_19</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 10:28pm<b>A_Dead_Fish32</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 8:43pm<b>Happy_FairyTail</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:26pm<b>HJKM</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 7:39pm<b>GeekySavy</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:56am

Warmonger_Smurf's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Warmonger_Smurf's badges

Warmonger_Smurf's favorite FMLs

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42906) - you deserved it (6125)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss fired me after chewing me out for the horrible date he had with my mother. FML

#21138556
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46557) - you deserved it (4042)

On 05/13/2014 at 10:29am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, school was out because of snow. My dad walked in my room and shouted "Why are you home?!" I told him why, and he replied, "Then get out the damn house and play in the snow." He tossed me out in nothing but my shorts. FML

#21037332
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36882) - you deserved it (4637)

On 01/23/2014 at 4:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML

#20879909
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45040) - you deserved it (5423)

On 09/13/2013 at 5:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook as she did not like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML

#20761484
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66675) - you deserved it (4235)

On 07/03/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Nicks - United States (Nevada)

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78128) - you deserved it (7086)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, it wasn't until I heard something fly off the roof of my car and hit the trunk, then asphalt, that I remembered where I left my phone while unlocking the car door. FML

#20598583
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26782) - you deserved it (32834)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:51am - money - by Anonymous -

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML

#20571304
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35033) - you deserved it (7595)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:30am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

#20565460
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44365) - you deserved it (15081)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I received my first ever hand-job. It would have been great if she didn't wipe it across my face when I had finished and storm out of the room. FML

Today, I received my first ever hand-job. It would have been great if she didn't wipe it across my face when I had finished and storm out of the room. FML

Today, I sampled some of the food my fiancée's mom is making for our wedding. Everything tasted terrible, and I almost vomited. Turns out she never actually went to culinary school as she claimed, but had just watched Julie and Julia. It's too late to book another caterer for the wedding. FML

#20145916
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23432) - you deserved it (4975)

On 11/03/2012 at 3:42pm - health - by WeddingWoes (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

#20139786
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10210) - you deserved it (40542)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML

#20116347
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22613) - you deserved it (3065)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:57am - kids - by Nickki - United States

Today, I was talking to my future mother-in-law about my upcoming wedding. She told me that I wasn't allowed to have the wedding at a church, nor wear a white dress, nor have roses for flowers, because that would mean I'd be "copying" her. FML

#20115456
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26826) - you deserved it (1466)

On 10/13/2012 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: