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WalrusHunter

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WalrusHunter

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  • Number of visits : 721
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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WalrusHunter's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML

#5148313
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (175236) - you deserved it (18013)

On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (138974) - you deserved it (9964)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94438) - you deserved it (19961)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I finally confessed to the guy I've liked for 2 years. I told him that I've really liked him for a long time and that I knew he had a girlfriend and I didn't expect anything from him, I just wanted him to know. His response: "Are you done? 'Cause I need to go to the bathroom." FML

#2749071
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49343) - you deserved it (14993)

On 06/09/2009 at 5:40pm - love - by ohwell (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I finally confessed to the guy I've liked for 2 years. I told him that I've really liked him for a long time and that I knew he had a girlfriend and I didn't expect anything from him, I just wanted him to know. His response: "Are you done? 'Cause I need to go to the bathroom." FML

#2749071
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49343) - you deserved it (14993)

On 06/09/2009 at 5:40pm - love - by ohwell (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I finally confessed to the guy I've liked for 2 years. I told him that I've really liked him for a long time and that I knew he had a girlfriend and I didn't expect anything from him, I just wanted him to know. His response: "Are you done? 'Cause I need to go to the bathroom." FML

#2749071
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49343) - you deserved it (14993)

On 06/09/2009 at 5:40pm - love - by ohwell (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had a really big debate in my English Class about the legalization of weed. My group had to state reasons why weed shouldn't be legal and no one except me had prepared. My partner came to class totally stoned. Our group lost the debate. We got a F. FML

#2492585
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47981) - you deserved it (7269)

On 06/01/2009 at 2:52am - misc - by crazyjohnny - United States (California)

Today, I had a really big debate in my English Class about the legalization of weed. My group had to state reasons why weed shouldn't be legal and no one except me had prepared. My partner came to class totally stoned. Our group lost the debate. We got a F. FML

#2492585
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47981) - you deserved it (7269)

On 06/01/2009 at 2:52am - misc - by crazyjohnny - United States (California)

Today, I went to the hospital in premature labor. Alone, I texted my best friend/crush and asked him to come and sit with me for an hour while I waited on my mom to arrive. Eating cornflakes and watching TV, he replied "I can't". Apparently TV is more important than a best friend in labor. FML

Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML

#2003683
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50925) - you deserved it (7863)

On 05/17/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (419917) - you deserved it (59664)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mother sent a letter to my best friend trying to comfort her over the death of her mother. She signed the letter "LOL, Jen" thinking LOL stood for "lots of love." FML

#1429978
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61139) - you deserved it (5134)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:51pm - misc - by unlolable4321 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML

#1415688
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (207184) - you deserved it (11182)

On 04/28/2009 at 2:27am - intimacy - by liveforpeace_ (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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