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Mobility
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with my girlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake my mother. My girlfriend came and swung open the door onto my foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25383) - you deserved it (3454)
On 01/13/2013 at 7:41am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36402) - you deserved it (1026)
On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I have severe back pain that is only relieved by lying flat on my bed. I also have acid reflux that is only prevented by sitting straight up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31682) - you deserved it (1681)
On 01/11/2013 at 3:03am - health - by Kftc88 - United States (California)
Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25545) - you deserved it (6801)
On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia
Today, while buying paint, I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told me what a nice young lady I was. Then her boss came over, screamed at her for being lazy and fired her. She cried. So did I. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39080) - you deserved it (2495)
On 12/31/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24815) - you deserved it (3855)
On 12/31/2012 at 6:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was at a party. Everyone was drunk, and I happened to overhear someone say, "Where's that guy in the black jacket? I'm going to beat his ass!" I wouldn't have thought anything of it, had I not been the only one wearing a black jacket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19750) - you deserved it (2176)
On 12/31/2012 at 1:46am - misc - by bpruitt95 (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my dad asked me when I was going to start looking for a job. Jokingly, I told him next year. He got pissed, started to yell, then realized Tuesday is New Year's Day and grounded me for "being a dumbass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21690) - you deserved it (6075)
On 12/30/2012 at 10:51pm - work - by BAMN2187 - United States
Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend if he was cheating on me. He replied, "Nah, all the chicks in this town are fuck-ugly." and stared at me until I left the room. Good to know that's his only reason for staying faithful. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21969) - you deserved it (5142)
On 12/29/2012 at 6:54pm - love - by single once again (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)
Today, I had a proper look at myself in the mirror. I have recently lost 5 lbs. Turns out that it mainly shows on my boob. Not boobs. Boob. Right one only. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28319) - you deserved it (1873)
On 12/29/2012 at 10:23am - health - by Amathiel (woman) - Norway (Sogn og Fjordane)
Today, I was walking in the park, when a kid ran up and hit me in the stomach. He said, "Don't get mad, get glad!" and ran off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23142) - you deserved it (2716)
On 12/29/2012 at 2:41am - kids - by shadowreaper101 (man) - United States (California)
Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19802) - you deserved it (8927)
On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)
Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30516) - you deserved it (4017)
On 12/15/2012 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I avoided having to wash the dishes by faking a cold. My sucker of a wife believed me and hopped off my balls about it. Later on, after I made a miraculous recovery, she told me to take out the trash. It's freezing outside and raining, and I feel a very real cold coming on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3781) - you deserved it (49462)
On 12/14/2012 at 2:19pm - misc - by fuckmyassimcold (man) - United States
Today, as my 12 hour shift was about to finish, a young boy came in wanting to buy a $200 gaming device. His mom said he was purchasing it with his own money, which I found admirable. That is, until he took his piggy bank out of his backpack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18123) - you deserved it (1257)
On 12/14/2012 at 12:10am - kids - by Ethan_18 - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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