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Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML
by shizzy09 / 04/13/2009 at 4:09pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I were having some fertilization problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said "mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML
by manlyman / 04/05/2009 at 9:32am / United States (Virginia) / Health
Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant, I'd forgotten my glasses and had a migraine. I was straining my eyes, squinting and rubbing my temples to alleviate my migraine. I was kicked out of the restaurant and banned henceforth because my waitress thought I was mocking her eyes. FML
by lemonjuice / 03/18/2009 at 2:22am / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous
by Noname / 02/21/2009 at 12:41am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…
- Today, I went to the Eiffel Tower with my boyfriend. We’d been talking about getting married for a… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the…