About Wafflestomper : Throw the CHEEEEEEEESE
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48133) - you deserved it (1980)
On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23414) - you deserved it (2527)
On 09/19/2012 at 10:54am - misc - by LawStudent (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9031) - you deserved it (29050)
On 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by pride? what's that? :( (woman) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)
Today, yet again, I was getting intimate with my shower head. Some complete genius decided to flush the toilet downstairs halfway through, which sent scalding-hot water all up in my privates. I've yet to find a comfortable sitting position. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11356) - you deserved it (25803)
On 08/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Bethany (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, after having recently moved into shared accommodations, my prankster of a room-mate has somehow made sure I've yet again woken up with a tampon in my mouth. It's been three times in the past week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13146) - you deserved it (1103)
On 08/22/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by idontbleedfromthere (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend cutely climbed through my bedroom window for some sexy time. He decided he'd introduce bondage. As I was tied to the bed, completely naked, we heard the front door open. He got scared and left via the window, leaving me handcuffed to my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22500) - you deserved it (5284)
On 08/11/2012 at 2:53am - intimacy - by dafuqdidihear (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend, who I've loved and dated for over a year, confessed that she's actually straight as an arrow. All this time, she's basically been using me as an accessory to enhance her "social status" and make her guy friends horny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27448) - you deserved it (3117)
On 08/10/2012 at 6:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand (Krung Thep)
Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20248) - you deserved it (3053)
On 07/31/2012 at 1:36am - kids - by mcase - United States (California)
Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8760) - you deserved it (18888)
On 07/14/2012 at 7:15am - intimacy - by zstarr - United States (Georgia)
Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9202) - you deserved it (29290)
On 06/01/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Austria (Wien)
Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14398) - you deserved it (1452)
On 05/24/2012 at 5:18pm - animals - by XxEmoWolfiexX (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14398) - you deserved it (1452)
On 05/24/2012 at 5:18pm - animals - by XxEmoWolfiexX (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20262) - you deserved it (2665)
On 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Class (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me for another guy. He said "good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was: "just wank it off and move on". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16390) - you deserved it (1786)
On 03/30/2012 at 6:21pm - love - by sad (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20640) - you deserved it (10890)
On 03/14/2012 at 1:18am - love - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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