Wafflestomper

Search for a member

Offline (18 hours ago)

Wafflestomper

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3495
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Wafflestomper : Throw the CHEEEEEEEESE

Wafflestomper's page activity

Visits<b>never_alone</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 10:19am<b>Turtle_Man</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 3:31am<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 1:13am<b>RoboCunnilingus</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 11:18pm<b>smiliecat</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 7:36pm<b>Zkows20</b> - the 04/23/2013 at 10:42pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/29/2013 at 5:45am<b>TheEmoSuperman</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 7:21am<b>LaLince</b> - the 12/15/2012 at 3:07pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 11/02/2012 at 4:22pm<b>sillyyanks</b> - the 10/24/2012 at 6:34pm<b>Baustigt</b> - the 09/28/2012 at 6:06pm<b>xalba</b> - the 08/29/2012 at 8:32pm<b>I_Hug_Cats</b> - the 04/09/2012 at 10:04pm<b>inlove72</b> - the 04/03/2012 at 11:02pm

Wafflestomper's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of Wafflestomper's badges

Wafflestomper's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

by CatLover<3 / 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, a few freshmen jumped my fence. They decided to take a dip in the pool, so I pulled out a paintball gun. I unloaded over 100 rounds, painting their backs bright yellow. It also dyed my pool yellow, and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair. FML

by pool party / 05/28/2013 at 8:48pm / United States (Illinois) / Money

Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML

by peallow / 05/12/2013 at 1:01am / Puerto Rico / Miscellaneous

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

by emasculated 10000% / 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML

by seekerglow176 / 04/27/2013 at 8:42am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals

Today, my virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch my penis. FML

by Gurior / 04/16/2013 at 1:44pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, it transpired that my mom has been spending her stint in prison trying to play matchmaker for me, going so far as to call one of her finds, "good breeding stock". Apparently, I don't already have enough criminals in my life; last September I was the only member of my family of 5 not locked up. FML

by Grand_Cookie / 04/16/2013 at 4:48am / United States (Nebraska) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

by confusedcatlover / 04/06/2013 at 7:42am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, the Chinese student I've been teaching English to got on stage in front of hundreds of people to read her final essay. She ended with, "What a fucking day." I don't swear, and I no longer have a job. FML

by effiestonem154 / 04/02/2013 at 5:14pm / United States / Work

Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML

by ldn / 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm / Slovenia (Bohinj) / Intimacy

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

by je_regrette_tout / 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

by Frostbitten / 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

by n3ov / 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm / Pakistan (Islamabad) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend asked me if she looked fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two seconds away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively tried to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really need to get a life. FML

by Anonymous / 02/03/2013 at 4:57pm / Australia / Love