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Wafflestomper

Offline (the 07/09/2014 at 1:25am) | Search for a member

Wafflestomper

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1286
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Wafflestomper : Throw the CHEEEEEEEESE

Wafflestomper's page activity

Visits<b>Turtle_Man</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 6:52pm<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 1:13am<b>RoboCunnilingus</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 11:18pm<b>smiliecat</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 7:36pm<b>Zkows20</b> - the 04/23/2013 at 10:42pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/29/2013 at 5:45am<b>TheEmoSuperman</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 7:21am<b>LaLince</b> - the 12/15/2012 at 3:07pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 11/02/2012 at 4:22pm<b>sillyyanks</b> - the 10/24/2012 at 6:34pm<b>Baustigt</b> - the 09/28/2012 at 6:06pm<b>xalba</b> - the 08/29/2012 at 8:32pm<b>I_Hug_Cats</b> - the 04/09/2012 at 10:04pm<b>inlove72</b> - the 04/03/2012 at 11:02pm

Wafflestomper's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of Wafflestomper's badges

Wafflestomper's favorite FMLs

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79326) - you deserved it (4078)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning how to spend the day together. When I suggested we start off with some fun in bed, then get some pizza and play his favorite video game, he sighed, "Can't we just go straight to gaming?" FML

#20613403
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58203) - you deserved it (7824)

On 04/22/2013 at 4:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch my penis. FML

#20596452
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68433) - you deserved it (17840)

On 04/16/2013 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by Gurior - Canada

Today, it transpired that my mom has been spending her stint in prison trying to play matchmaker for me, going so far as to call one of her finds, "good breeding stock". Apparently, I don't already have enough criminals in my life; last September I was the only member of my family of 5 not locked up. FML

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

#20577178
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51110) - you deserved it (5641)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, the Chinese student I've been teaching English to got on stage in front of hundreds of people to read her final essay. She ended with, "What a fucking day." I don't swear, and I no longer have a job. FML

#20571924
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34619) - you deserved it (2414)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by effiestonem154 (woman) - United States

Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste". Gag me. FML

#20545240
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43415) - you deserved it (5351)

On 03/15/2013 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by butnotlikethat (woman) - China (Jiangxi)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20426) - you deserved it (59785)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML

#20532138
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31202) - you deserved it (12311)

On 03/05/2013 at 11:13am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I walked into what I thought would be a surprise birthday party. It wasn't. It was my parents staging an intervention over my cat obsession. FML

#20530955
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15917) - you deserved it (26206)

On 03/04/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by DM - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boss and I had to come up with a code to call if a person acts inappropriately towards me because I "attract too many weirdos." FML

#20529995
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28025) - you deserved it (2886)

On 03/03/2013 at 8:17pm - work - by smokeysarah94 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

#20523671
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42682) - you deserved it (5385)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

#20522482
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53506) - you deserved it (3902)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)

Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML

#20520443
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33081) - you deserved it (4958)

On 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by stillfuckingcrying (woman) - Sweden (Kalmar Lan)



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