Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About Vo13c3s1nMyH3ad : Hello potential stalker (I hope you are because that'd be flattering) I'm a Marine, I enjoy scuba diving, rock climbing, long walks on the beach (haha), working out, and talking. I love talking to strangers because they're the most interesting!, so message me! :)
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, I was holding our weekly poker game with a few work buddies. My psychotic, live-in mother-in-law wasted no time jumping into the game, cheating me out of $150, my new wristwatch, and what little pride I had left. FML
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML
Today, I was in the elevator with my boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML
Monday 5 October 2015