Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

VivaLaColdplay

Offline (the 02/19/2014 at 5:21pm) | Search for a member

VivaLaColdplay

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 May 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 17596
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About VivaLaColdplay : Elloh! :D

VivaLaColdplay's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 6:34pm<b>Cynical_D_Luffy</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:09pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:10pm<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 7:31am<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 2:57am<b>arrow007archer</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 5:57pm<b>swiftous</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 10:22pm<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 3:49pm<b>DarkCaesar</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 12:00am<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 6:08pm<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 4:17pm<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 3:43pm<b>illegalbeagle69</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 1:21pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 9:49pm<b>TiiBags</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 11:47am<b>beaglegal</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 8:48pm<b>eminem_lover45</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 3:51am<b>RawritsBreann</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 4:20pm

VivaLaColdplay's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of VivaLaColdplay's badges

VivaLaColdplay's favorite FMLs

Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet again been mistaken for a 1-800 number. I've been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the east coast who are trying to return their shoes. They want to speak to my supervisor because I "don't sound professional enough." FML

Today, my parents made a game out of deliberately walking in when I'm trying to masturbate. They even turn on all the hot water taps when I'm trying to do it in the shower. FML

#21115891
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46271) - you deserved it (17995)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51856) - you deserved it (4690)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to go to a therapy group to help with my anxiety and to meet people who felt similar. I joked with my friend that no one would turn up as people might feel anxious about going. I was right. I was the only one there. FML

#21113050
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36950) - you deserved it (3327)

On 04/14/2014 at 7:34pm - misc - by all by myself (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54929) - you deserved it (7009)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my dad found out that I'm a member on a bodybuilding forum and decided to join it too. It's only been a few hours, but he's already told everyone that he's my dad, posted that I'm a "total pussy in real life", and questioned my sexuality. Thanks. FML

#21112140
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40122) - you deserved it (4637)

On 04/13/2014 at 6:16pm - misc - by -.- - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML

Today, in an attempt to potty train my step-son, my boyfriend and I put underwear on him, hoping that when he peed himself, he would realize using the potty is the way to go. Instead, he peed while sitting on the couch, got up, took off the underwear, and then switched seats. FML

#21106771
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36805) - you deserved it (11945)

On 04/07/2014 at 1:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got up early in the morning to get a snack, only to walk in on my "vegan" housemate eating a turkey sandwich. This bastard harasses me every other day about my meat-eating, but all he could do after he noticed me was drop the sandwich and claim he'd been sleepwalking. FML

#21104594
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37984) - you deserved it (3097)

On 04/04/2014 at 6:07pm - misc - by fuck you with a bacon cock (man) - United Kingdom (Moray)

Today, it's the last day of my sign language class. At the end of the class, my teacher surprised us by speaking for the first time, also surprising everyone that she wasn't actually deaf. It wouldn't have been so bad had I not just given someone an answer to the test, thinking she couldn't hear me. FML

Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me and was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. His whole gang had gotten mugged, which he somehow blamed me for. FML

#21102946
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47775) - you deserved it (5906)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:10pm - kids - by I Have Failed (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, for our 25th anniversary, my husband and I had dinner on a cruise ship, a dinner we had been planning for months. Upon boarding, I realized the expensive dress that I had bought just for the occasion had exactly the same print as the chair covers and the carpet. The cruise lasted 8 hours. FML

#21102655
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39603) - you deserved it (5699)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:13am - misc - by Why (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, for our 25th anniversary, my husband and I had dinner on a cruise ship, a dinner we had been planning for months. Upon boarding, I realized the expensive dress that I had bought just for the occasion had exactly the same print as the chair covers and the carpet. The cruise lasted 8 hours. FML

#21102655
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39603) - you deserved it (5699)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:13am - misc - by Why (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the girl I've been dating dumped me after she found out I'm originally from Alabama. Apparently she doesn't want to date someone from a "foreign country". We both live in Michigan. FML

#21098622
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40087) - you deserved it (3727)

On 03/28/2014 at 3:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: