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Today, I was putting the finishing touches on my portrait of a young boy in art class. I asked my teacher if she could help correct the bad parts of my portrait. She said, "Well that would take all day and I just don't have the time." She was serious. I thought this was my best work yet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47596) - you deserved it (3536)
On 04/07/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by offended (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was walking down the street with my friend, one I walk down every day, and I saw a really cute guy nearby. I felt like I looked better than usual, so I turned my head to offer a smile, and walked right into a pole. The impact was strong enough to send me falling to the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13979) - you deserved it (32801)
On 04/07/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by laurisshnazzy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20539) - you deserved it (351020)
On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46769) - you deserved it (127844)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46769) - you deserved it (127844)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (276384) - you deserved it (23308)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I had a softball team dinner, and I was sitting with a bunch of girls who were talking about how far they've gone with guys. One girl goes "I must be the least experienced one here, I've never even kissed a guy!" Surprised, I said "me too!" and high-fived her. She was joking. I wasn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56262) - you deserved it (7276)
On 04/06/2009 at 4:35am - misc - by annonymous (woman) - China (Beijing)
Today, I jokingly went over to a an attractive female co-worker and said "you look like you need a hug". She told me she wasn't feeling well and didn't want to be touched. No more than 30 seconds after our encounter she ran to give one of our more attractive male co-workers a hug. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45501) - you deserved it (7515)
On 04/06/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by Lastsecondstand - United States (New York)
Today, I went to a club with a couple of my friends. I met a really cute guy and we were getting along pretty well. We eventually exchanged numbers. Later on I decided to call him and set up a date. The number he gave me was the Rejection Hotline number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56225) - you deserved it (7773)
On 04/05/2009 at 3:15pm - misc - by jonas_93 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I were in the middle of a heavy make-out session when his cell rang. Normally, he'd ignore it. This time however he pushed me off of him and said "Shit! It's probably my girlfriend!" I thought I was his girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (116681) - you deserved it (10089)
On 04/05/2009 at 5:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my patient, a chubby little girl, stood on a scale to measure her weight. She was 5 yrs old and weighed 65 lbs. I started giving her advice on eating healthy: fruits, vegetables, and more greens. She turned to her mother giving a look of shock and said, "But mommy, the doctor is fat too!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (44811) - you deserved it (14194)
On 04/05/2009 at 12:25am - kids - by Shnur (woman) - United States (California)
Today, at my job as a cashier, a man and his 3-year old son got in line. The father said, "Give this to the pretty lady," looking at me. The kid looks at me, looks at his dad, and walks over to the next cashier. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55702) - you deserved it (2777)
On 04/04/2009 at 9:07pm - kids - by Nottheprettylady (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my biology teacher told me that every Friday we should wear a hideous shirt to count down the last days of freshman year. So when Friday came around we decided to have a contest for most hideous shirt. I won. I forgot to wear a hideous shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52840) - you deserved it (7569)
On 04/04/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my siblings came home for the weekend. At dinner, my dad started complaining at how one of my siblings had gotten fired, one was failing college, and the other was gay. He went on to say I was 17 and already had a bright future. I'm pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41075) - you deserved it (46714)
On 04/03/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I saw a very attractive female police officer while at the DMV. Thinking myself suave, I asked her: "Is it sexual harassment if I tell you how beautiful I think you are, and ask for your phone number?" Apparently it was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22391) - you deserved it (62956)
On 04/03/2009 at 6:05pm - misc - by ShamedJP (man) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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