About VivaLaColdplay : Elloh! :D
The Thumb returns
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Today, I handed the keys to my Mustang to my mom so she could go car shopping. As she pulled away, I remembered the condom wrappers, sex toy packaging, and empty bottle of rum that was in the passenger's seat of my car. I'm twenty. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10100) - you deserved it (60167)
On 04/13/2009 at 6:46am - intimacy - by jackass (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I drove 9 hours and took Monday off of work to surprise my Mom and Dad for Easter. They weren't home so I called to tell them the surprise, rather than wait. They didn't answer as they were on a flight to Denver to surprise me for Easter since "I couldn't get off work." FML
I agree, your life sucks (61050) - you deserved it (9757)
On 04/13/2009 at 6:45am - misc - by traveller (man) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I went to a football sleepover with all of my teammates. I felt something near the bottom of my sleeping bag, and I pulled it up with my foot. My entire team watched me pull out a red thong. My parents had been on a camping trip the week before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55980) - you deserved it (2630)
On 04/13/2009 at 2:11am - misc - by TrueStories (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, the girl I have had a crush on for the last 4 months asked me on AIM how to block someone. 30 seconds after I finished explaining how to block someone on iChat, she went offline and I haven't seen her on AIM since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60721) - you deserved it (9151)
On 04/12/2009 at 3:46pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I woke up to find The Sims 2 running on pause on my laptop. I unpaused to find my character and my boyfriend's were no longer together. Slightly confused, I went on to find the note my boyfriend left. It said, "I hope you can take a hint." I got dumped through a computer game. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71744) - you deserved it (3911)
On 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, a woman drove through my house. She was texting and eating watermelon at the same time. I didn't know that was even possible, but now my house is condemned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (100916) - you deserved it (3611)
On 04/12/2009 at 9:53am - health - by Fitz (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I parked my car on the street to go to the gym. When i came back my car was blocked by a parade of people. I turned to a shop worker smoking a cigarette and said "Jesus! What the hell is going on?" I got many strange looks. It was a Good Friday parade lead by a local church. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11450) - you deserved it (33443)
On 04/11/2009 at 10:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was sitting at my computer, listening and singing along to some music. I started singing louder, thinking that I was pretty good. Just then, my mom comes barging through the door in a frenzy saying, "Are you all right? Are you hurt?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32849) - you deserved it (10474)
On 04/11/2009 at 1:36pm - misc - by awesome (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went to a friend's sweet sixteen. Since I didn't know any else at the party I was really happy when the mother told me she sat me next to someone she thought I would have a lot in common with. He ended up being mentally challenged and talked to a sock puppet the whole party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46555) - you deserved it (2808)
On 04/10/2009 at 10:37pm - misc - by NotRetarded (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I walked over to join a group of friends and heard them talking about how hot some guy was but how ugly his sister was. I asked who they were talking about and there was an akward silence, they hadn't realized I was there. Apparently, they were talking about my brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42638) - you deserved it (2046)
On 04/10/2009 at 2:46pm - misc - by ellarose - United States (Maryland)
Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out hes my cousin: priceless. FML
I agree, your life sucks (148680) - you deserved it (46712)
On 04/10/2009 at 2:42pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went to a professional baseball game. In the 5th inning, our row was chosen for a random giveaway where everyone sitting in the row recieved free roundtrip airline tickets to New York City. While this was going on, I was up, getting a pretzel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58481) - you deserved it (6060)
On 04/09/2009 at 10:15pm - misc - by ZachooMackoo (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was selling cookie dough for a fund raiser at an old folks home. One lady ordered a box and told me that she loved cookie dough. I told her it'd be here in 4 weeks, she said "Oh I can't wait!". Not really thinking, as I left I said, "I hope you can make it till then!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (8264) - you deserved it (55345)
On 04/09/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by phatkroger10 (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The TV was on with the volume low, as we had been too preoccupied to turn it off. All of the sudden, my boyfriend stopped mid-thrust. He was watching the TV. House was on. My boyfriend stopped to watch the differential diagnosis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56702) - you deserved it (11130)
On 04/09/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while teaching swimming to a bunch of five year olds, one particularly bratty girl decided she didn't want to swim and lead the entire class to strike, leaving the pool empty and me without a job. Apparently I was teaching the next world tyrant to swim. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42118) - you deserved it (3290)
On 04/09/2009 at 10:38am - misc - by luh8r (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
