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Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going really well until I noticed a bug on my interviewer's lower neck. I shouted that something really disgusting was crawling on him. It turns out it was his big hairy mole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15340) - you deserved it (50673)
On 04/19/2009 at 5:52pm - work - by Crunchy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the Apple Store taking random pictures of myself. I took one with a really stupid face. This girl passes by and says, "Wow, that's a cool effect! You look just like an alien!" I wasn't using any effects. It was a regular picture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40425) - you deserved it (7115)
On 04/18/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by sarah (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was in the supermarket and I see this little boy trying to reach for something on the top shelf. I go over to him and ask if his mom knows where he is. The boy turns around. He was actually a very angry midget. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24615) - you deserved it (41262)
On 04/17/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by jules (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I changed the locks on my apartment so my crazy ex girlfriend couldn't get in. I went to her house to return her house key. I accidentally gave her the key to my new locks, and can't find her old house key. Now I need her to come let me in to my own house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16782) - you deserved it (42003)
On 04/16/2009 at 10:47am - misc - by xnickx (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (100712) - you deserved it (4720)
On 04/15/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by SwimSquid (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was woken up to my mom playing the piano awfully. I screamed down the stairs "you suck, stop playing!" Turns out it was my 5 year old cousin playing a recital. For my entire family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12427) - you deserved it (63112)
On 04/15/2009 at 1:14am - misc - by christinabear (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52707) - you deserved it (3416)
On 04/13/2009 at 4:09pm - kids - by shizzy09 (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my girlfriend of 8 years dumped me. When I asked if there was another guy, she responded, "You were the other guy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (121441) - you deserved it (8218)
On 04/13/2009 at 1:39pm - love - by blaise (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I handed the keys to my Mustang to my mom so she could go car shopping. As she pulled away, I remembered the condom wrappers, sex toy packaging, and empty bottle of rum that was in the passenger's seat of my car. I'm twenty. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10099) - you deserved it (60156)
On 04/13/2009 at 6:46am - intimacy - by jackass (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I drove 9 hours and took Monday off of work to surprise my Mom and Dad for Easter. They weren't home so I called to tell them the surprise, rather than wait. They didn't answer as they were on a flight to Denver to surprise me for Easter since "I couldn't get off work." FML
I agree, your life sucks (61034) - you deserved it (9756)
On 04/13/2009 at 6:45am - misc - by traveller (man) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I went to a football sleepover with all of my teammates. I felt something near the bottom of my sleeping bag, and I pulled it up with my foot. My entire team watched me pull out a red thong. My parents had been on a camping trip the week before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55957) - you deserved it (2628)
On 04/13/2009 at 2:11am - misc - by TrueStories (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, the girl I have had a crush on for the last 4 months asked me on AIM how to block someone. 30 seconds after I finished explaining how to block someone on iChat, she went offline and I haven't seen her on AIM since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60707) - you deserved it (9150)
On 04/12/2009 at 3:46pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I woke up to find The Sims 2 running on pause on my laptop. I unpaused to find my character and my boyfriend's were no longer together. Slightly confused, I went on to find the note my boyfriend left. It said, "I hope you can take a hint." I got dumped through a computer game. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71721) - you deserved it (3910)
On 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, a woman drove through my house. She was texting and eating watermelon at the same time. I didn't know that was even possible, but now my house is condemned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (100785) - you deserved it (3610)
On 04/12/2009 at 9:53am - health - by Fitz (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I parked my car on the street to go to the gym. When i came back my car was blocked by a parade of people. I turned to a shop worker smoking a cigarette and said "Jesus! What the hell is going on?" I got many strange looks. It was a Good Friday parade lead by a local church. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11449) - you deserved it (33441)
On 04/11/2009 at 10:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 20 May 2013
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